mynewplace

Things went very nicely last night.  We didn't stay for dinner, only went to her house to pick up some food she had prepared for Brent.  We ate some of the meatloaf for dinner, it was of course delicious.  Brent's mother is a very sweet woman - outgoing and talkative but not to the point of being overwhelming or annoying; friendly and smiling, and generous.  She has a clever sense of humor.  I was SO glad to get that over with. 

I am so tired. I crashed at about ten last night. I suspect it will be even earlier tonight.  I'm suffering through that monthly feeling of anticipation and frustration, so I know I'm ovulating, and I haven't smiled much in the last couple of days. My own sense of humor is shut down right now.  I'm going to stay home tonight, and I think Brent is going to go home tonight as well.  My kitchen cupboards are almost bare, and my cats are suffering from the lack of attention.  I came home this morning to find a bag of hot dog buns scattered all over the living room and dining room, with tiny bites taken out of them like they were ears of corn.  Ran the sweeper at seven a.m., probably pissed off every neighbor I have. Don't care. 

Mom wants Scarlett to come home Friday and spend at least one night with me. I want to see her, but I really have nothing to feed her. Mom will give us groceries to take home when I go to pick her up. Got to remember not to let mom bring her to me (despite the fact that I only have a half tank of gas). LIfe is weighing kinda heavy on my shoulders.  The same is true of Brent - he's got a lot of issues. I feel so bad for him. In fact what I'm feeling is probably in part empathy for his situation.  siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

I'm tired, restless, and uncomfortable in my own skin. No surprise to discover I'm now ovulating. 

Mom's doing remarkably well.  Her heart cath is tomorrow, but I am going to go out on a limb and say I bet they don't find anything. If they do I will be glad they've found it and possibly treated it, but I just have a feeling. 

Things went VERY well this weekend.  I hate leaving him alone on Sundays. I finally managed to tell him so, when I left him, and again on the phone a while ago.  And he didn't freak out. This means I've opened a door for further conversation in the future about our time together, what I'd like to see happen between us, and also discussion about my child's possible role in this developing relationship.  I'm quite proud of myself. 

But I'm also feeling icky. Here's an example of why - I had a HUGE early dinner, couldn't finish it and had to bring some home in a box.  And yet I'm fighting a compulsion to eat beef stick and crackers. Not an urge, compulsion.