mynewplace: (Default)
I am so fucking bored.  And so fucking sick of feeling this way.  Fucking sick of my house, fucking sick of my job, fucking sick of my hurting foot and the sharp pains in my ankle and driving Brent's car which means driving back and forth too much and sick of having car trouble even though it's only been a few days.  Run on sentence, anyone?  Thank you. 

My mind is random and do you know why? Well I'll tell you why.  Because I'm fucking OVULATING.  Yes, people.  The damned eggs have found their way past the Essure thingys and are spreading their special brand of joy throughout my life.  I know that it can take up to 12 weeks for the Essure to completely take effect, but talk about pissed.  I don't WANT to ovulate. That makes me want to have a baby, and I don't want to want that.  See how fucked up my brain is?  

I have two new-to-me Coach purses, a new pair of shoes I can't wear, and a new sweater for Scarlett.  I am through with ebay I think, although I have two more items that will be shipped once I pay for them.  I am going to take pictures of the bag Leigh wants to sell and post it on ebay for her, along with some other things when she sends me the pictures.  Notice I didn't say IF she sends me the pictures, because I know she will.  

Okay, I'm too worried about getting caught blogging. So I've gotta go.  
mynewplace: (Default)
Things went very nicely last night.  We didn't stay for dinner, only went to her house to pick up some food she had prepared for Brent.  We ate some of the meatloaf for dinner, it was of course delicious.  Brent's mother is a very sweet woman - outgoing and talkative but not to the point of being overwhelming or annoying; friendly and smiling, and generous.  She has a clever sense of humor.  I was SO glad to get that over with. 

I am so tired. I crashed at about ten last night. I suspect it will be even earlier tonight.  I'm suffering through that monthly feeling of anticipation and frustration, so I know I'm ovulating, and I haven't smiled much in the last couple of days. My own sense of humor is shut down right now.  I'm going to stay home tonight, and I think Brent is going to go home tonight as well.  My kitchen cupboards are almost bare, and my cats are suffering from the lack of attention.  I came home this morning to find a bag of hot dog buns scattered all over the living room and dining room, with tiny bites taken out of them like they were ears of corn.  Ran the sweeper at seven a.m., probably pissed off every neighbor I have. Don't care. 

Mom wants Scarlett to come home Friday and spend at least one night with me. I want to see her, but I really have nothing to feed her. Mom will give us groceries to take home when I go to pick her up. Got to remember not to let mom bring her to me (despite the fact that I only have a half tank of gas). LIfe is weighing kinda heavy on my shoulders.  The same is true of Brent - he's got a lot of issues. I feel so bad for him. In fact what I'm feeling is probably in part empathy for his situation.  siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

Wednesday

May. 16th, 2007 10:00 am
mynewplace: (badass)
siiiiiiiiiiiiigh

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070515/lf_nm/books_potter_dc_2

How'm I ever gonna keep my head in the sand long enough to read the damned thing without spoilers?  I am already sad that the series is coming to an end. I get this little empty feeling in my gut when I think about "no more Potter after July".  I still have the movies to look forward to, I know, but the books are SO FAR superior to the movies that it's no consolation.  

My brain is scattering today - ovulation has set in. Am definitely looking forward to my after-work romp.  

I'm trying to get Scarlett's summer calendar together, but can't seem to commit to anything. I'd like to know where I'm going to be living this summer, without that information day care still hangs in the realm of possibility.  Mom is saying she wants to keep Scarlett most the summer,  and that's probably what will have to happen in order for me to afford to move; but I am still convinced that Mom is not up to the task this year.  WIth my cousin Cheryl back home she will be able to help, because her son Joey and Scarlett get along well, and Cheryl doesn't have a job yet.  The kids are at an age where they kinda take care of themselves but mom likes to stick her nose into arguments, plus Joey's 3 years older than Scarlett and sometimes his movies and games are inappropriate for her age level. SOoooooooooooofuckingmuch to think about. How am I ever going to find time to think about work? 

Well, I need to at least try.  I've got to call Courtney today about lunch, better call soon. It's already ten.
mynewplace: (Default)
I'm tired, restless, and uncomfortable in my own skin. No surprise to discover I'm now ovulating. 

Mom's doing remarkably well.  Her heart cath is tomorrow, but I am going to go out on a limb and say I bet they don't find anything. If they do I will be glad they've found it and possibly treated it, but I just have a feeling. 

Things went VERY well this weekend.  I hate leaving him alone on Sundays. I finally managed to tell him so, when I left him, and again on the phone a while ago.  And he didn't freak out. This means I've opened a door for further conversation in the future about our time together, what I'd like to see happen between us, and also discussion about my child's possible role in this developing relationship.  I'm quite proud of myself. 

But I'm also feeling icky. Here's an example of why - I had a HUGE early dinner, couldn't finish it and had to bring some home in a box.  And yet I'm fighting a compulsion to eat beef stick and crackers. Not an urge, compulsion.

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