mynewplace

I was reading back through my journal and this struck me:

"I WISH I could have just a day or two where absolutely nothing is required of me, I don't need sleep, and nothing is so desperate to be done that it's driving me out of my mind.  And that includes keeping my boyfriend company. " 

And then ten days later, my wish came true. 

I am feeling a bit better, but my nose is stopped up again. the kung pow chicken cleared my sinuses but not for long.

Reasons for all these questions.  (see poll in previous entry - make with the clicky!)

While I do get premonitions when something bad is coming, it's almost never in regard to a certain person or situation. It's usually just a general feeling of unease that often builds in tension until the event. Sometimes there's a feeling of anticipation afterward that lets me know there's more to come. I can't do much with this feeling, except warn someone before I hand them the phone, if I hear a bad vibe from the person who's calling.  I've done this more than once. 

I've never had a feeling that anyone was going to die, either specified or unspecified. I can however, tell when the phone rings what the call is about, especially when it's death on the other end. This has been going on since the days of the rotary phone, so it's not caller i.d.-related.

I do have intuition regarding life expectancy for most the people in my immediate family. And most of them are going to die old. There was a time when I expected my stepbrother to kill my father, but they got past that, and it didn't happen.  I still believe the intuition was fairly on target, and my brother just surpressed the urge until he got out of the house. I have no specific intuition regarding Scarlett's life expectancy but I do have an unreasonable amount of confidence regarding her general physical safety and well-being. I don't fret much over my child being hurt or seriously ill.  I'd say it's just because I'm not a worrier, but that's not really true. I worry plenty, just not about that. 

I do think that my own love for certain people seems to help them or shield them, or perhaps it just adds strength to their karma or something.  I came to this realization just today - thus the post.  Brent's so doom-n-gloom, and while I see his point about his genetic predisposition for poor health and even a heart attack or stroke at an early age, I also have the strong belief that these things will not happen to him. I acknowledge that I might be wrong, especially if he doesn't quit abusing himself. But it dawned on me today that it feels like my spirit watches over him somehow. He fights a lot of mental demons at night, and doesn't sleep well without liquor. But I feel him within my circle of protection all the same. It doesn't keep people from suffering, it just supports them.