mynewplace

Our dasdardly governor says that West Virginia has no worries when it comes to the financial downturn.  We'll make it just fine!!

Sure we will.  When such a large percentage of your citizens live below the poverty line, how can a few dollars less make or break us?  Depression? Poverty?  Bring it on!  Don't use MY tax dollars to bail out a bunch of idiots who sit there and cry over their own poor judgement. 
A state job is fairly secure.  The state will operate long after other things close down.  And if it closes down, and I lose my job?  I have skills and parents to fall back on.  We can scrimp, because we're scrimping now.  We can plow up the back yard and grow food.  We can DO IT.

So there.

 I have a Tissot watch.  It was purchased in 1994 in St. Thomas for my step grandmother by her extremely wealthy daughter.  I inherited it when my step grandmother died, and I put it away in a drawer because it didn't work, and didn't fit.  The battery was dead and the instruction booklet said to send it away to Pennsylvania for repairs.  Eh, I didn't feel like it, so in it went. 

I found it a couple days ago and realized I haven't worn a watch in years.  I tried it on and was surprised to find it fit, and it looks very nice.  It's a gold link bracelet watch with one of those safety chains on it. The face is only about half an inch square - small, like I like them.  I have small hands and wrists and am very persnickety about my jewelry. 

So I'm wearing it.  I called a local jeweler today and they will be delighted to work on it for me, since it most likely only needs a battery.  It's in beautiful condition, and was only purchased in 1994. I thought I'd have them put an extra link on it, but I don't seem to need it.  

I'm looking forward to taking it in the store.  I'm incredibly vain about stupid things, like having an expensive watch that is an heirloom. 

Isn't generosity a wonderful personality trait?  Do you have it? Or do you don't? 

I've decided that generosity is a learned behavior that can be acquired if you choose to do so.  Children who experience generosity, mercy and forgiveness from their parents are often generous even at an early age. But to learn the trait requires a forgiving heart and a willingness to perform random acts where there is no return and often no gratitude. 

Why must you have those things? Why can't you just be generous to those whom you love, or who are generous to you?

Because that's not generosity; that's love in the first case, and retribution in the second. 

I have an uncle who was hurt many years ago when his first son was born with brain damage that has caused him to be severely handicapped.  He had two children after that who are quite wonderful. But because of that first hurt and subsequent hurts in his life, he is not capable of forgiveness. His lack of forgiveness has driven a wedge between him and his only daughter which breaks her heart to this day.  Forgiveness is an awesome aspect of generosity for it requires you to be generous with your patience and kindness instead of with material objects or affection.  

The best way I've found to become generous is to practice patience (which does indeed require practice) give people a wide berth and benefit of doubt in traffic, and consider very carefully what I allow to make me angry. Is it going to matter in ten minutes, ten months or ten years? Probably not.  This was hard at first, but learning to do the traffic thing allowed me to learn most of the other things more easily. And talk about calmness! I have become so much more calm since I learned to let people in front of me. You know - most people in your daily life who piss you off are barely aware that you exist.  Even if you are quite aware of the people around you, you don't know their mental or emotional state. It's often impossible to know how your actions affect strangers. And when you remember that you're a stranger to most people you encounter, it kinda puts perspective on their inconsiderate actions.

Brent often comments on my generosity to him.  What he doesn't seem to realize is I'm generous to most everyone, and that's why it's been so easy to be generous to him even during those months when he was an asswipe to me.  He is now quite generous to me as well. it's endearing but I've noticed sometimes it wanes, and that has made me wonder about why. This is where the theory has developed about the requirement of a forgiving heart and random acts. He really needs to calm down and stop taking everything that happens to him as a personal affront. But you can't really TELL someone to do that - it's a decision they must make for themselves and work on inside their own mind.

Isn't my journal the weirdest mix of random nonsense, philosophy, sex and whining?

GOOD GOOD GOOD DAY! So much I wanna say, and can't remember it all. Had dr. appt this a.m., saw therapist, paid shitload due to new fiscal year and deductible starting all over again. 

Had a GREAT time with my cousin last night, and am still surprised. We got along so well. She even offered me money to help out because she and her fiancee have been "so blessed". I cried. I thought I'd never get home, it was eleven p.m. I'm glad I didn't go to Brent's, it was nice to have the silence to myself. 

MUST go to Brent's tonight to start packing. We've got nine days. We're both such horrid procrastinators, it's shameful. We must needs find boxes. 

Dinner with Courtney tonight, I've GOT to hit the bank first. I'm thinking this business of buying enough groceries for one meal is kinda neat. Tres' European. I don't have time to shop every evening though. Keeps me from buying too much extra crap. 

I have leftover squash casserole. I am pleased as a schoolgirl on holiday. nsingman have you ever seen Nadine Jansen? Whoo. Awesome Boobies.

SO MANY entries I want to go back and read again, and comment. And see pics that I can't view due to my employers ignorant photobucket restrictions.

You all DO realize I'll go internet silent by Saturday, don't you? I'll be engrossed in the last novel, and I intend to read every waking moment in which I am not working. I am going to cry because it's over. It's been a lovely ten years of fantasy and subsequent self-discovery.  So talk to me now!

The REAL update.   I got an email from my mom's best friend, and here's the answer I sent her.  It sums up my weekend pretty well, I think. 

Things here are going pretty well. Floyd dragged mom to Randolph County this past weekend, so Mother's Day was spent at the Marriott Brunch with my Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sharon, and their crew. There were 18 of us, it was very much fun, and of course fancy as only the Marriott can do it. Great food, and greater company. Aunt Sharon's sister Marilyn is a grandma now! Baby Dallas was there with his mommy and daddy. He's cute of course, only two months old so he's a standard-issue baby right now.

Scarlett and I had a picnic at the lake in Nitro with "the fellow" Saturday, it was very nice too. Yummy hot dogs and my yummy chili, which is a lot like my mom's yummy chili. I learned a lot from you two great cooks! Brent loves my cooking, and even brags on it to his mom, who is the "best cook in the world". I wouldn't have much respect for him if he didn't love his mom's cooking best - his devotion to her is really awesome. And the fact that he brags on me to her says a lot about how he feels about me - even when he's too stubborn to say it. Carole and Autumn came to the park for about an hour. Autumn fell while she and Scarlett were walking to the picnic table, and she ended up with a broken wrist. It was a very clean break that didn't need to be set, just put in a cast. She's such a good little girl.

I'm at home today cleaning. My back has been hurting very bad this weekend, I probably did too much - so I snuck half a Lortab from mom and stayed home to nurse it. Now that I've got some pain meds in me, I'm able to get around great and I'm getting laundry and dishes done and Scarlett's crap picked up and just moving around like I'm 30 years old. Boy those were the days.

I am going to try and take a 4 day weekend and head down there this summer. Scarlett has so MUCH planned, I'll have mom pencil in a weekend after she gets out of school.  Jeff and I are working things out pretty well, hoepfully I won't have to put her in day care too much this summer.  He got his child support payment reduced to just $125 a month, and that will pay for ONE WEEK of summer day care and two gallons of milk. (or one gallon of gas!)  I could pinch his fool head off, but I'm not taking it out on him. Aintcha proud of me? You should be.  I make Brent hold me while I cry on the weekends, so I don't take it out on much of anybody. He does come in handy for that, even if he won't agree to meet my mom or call me his girlfriend.  Love sure is complicated when you get past 40.