Monday

[mynewplace]

I weighed myself for the first time in over a year.   I've regained every pound I lost when my job was first moved to this office.  I'm back at that weight that is too appalling for me to even say out loud. I am so goddamned angry I could spit.  

I hope I'm goddamned angry enough to do the right thing for a change.  Walking, despite the pain; salads, salt and soda elimination. Back to caffeine pills, water, and iced tea.  I miss walking to and from lunch. Guess I'll start walking around the building or something.

Comments

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Not sure if I can do it without saying "Fucking" between the hundreds place and the tens place. But I will do it. Thanks for the advice.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I know EXACTLY how you're feeling right now. If you need to vent without my necessarily saying a word, by all means do. Email me at the LJ account and I'll write you back.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I may very well do that, in fact I think I still have your regular email addy. For some strange reason the thought of venting just makes me more angry with myself. It might give me a sense of accountability, which would be good. The ONLY thing that I can anticipate making me feel better about myself is getting the sodium out of my life, and falling in love with raw vegetables again. I've gotta find some place to bury the summer sausage I have in my fridge. lol It's a full moon, maybe I'll do a ritual in the woods behind the house. (I know that sounds sarcastic, it isn't in the LEAST. I think it would do me a world of good.)

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

By any means necessary, is what I've always said, and I stick by that to this day. A lot of people say I took the easy way with the surgery, but my options had run out to the point I had one of two choices: risk WLS or suicide. So, when I say that I know what you're going through, believe me. I'll do whatever I can to help.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it. I've given so much thought to the surgery in the past, I wish I could go that route. I just don't think my body would cooperate - it doesn't heal well.