Monday night

[mynewplace]

I'm not feeling better so much as I'm feeling "okay right now".  I came home early, and caught the fever at about 99 with some tylenol.  While I've been able to perform a few minor tasks, I've not had much appetite or energy.  At almost eleven p.m. my eyes are starting to burn a bit, and my throat is starting to hurt. I hope this doesn't turn into anything MORE than a fever. If I get sicker than I've been in the last couple days, I'm going to be in real hell. While the fever is horrible, to get a sinus or bronchial issue in addition would set me back for days. i don't want to waste my sick leave.

Brent.  My poor boy. It seems like every time he has a weekend where his thoughts of "her" come a little fewer and farther between, he has to double back and reassure himself that he's still hurting more than any normal person. Like he's seeing signs of healing, and he's afraid it means his love wasn't as deep as he thought.  Sometimes I wanna fuckin' slap him, but I really, truly believe he's getting past it. And that's what keeps me tolerant of these drunken rants.

Comments

[kokopelleigh.livejournal.com]

i do it, too. just when i swear im 100% over katie, i revert and am just sure for a day or two that no one has ever been as hurt as i have and that no one ever loved her like me.
and then i get over it. those spells come fewer and farther between now. i'm getting over it. he will, too. it helps to have support. you're helping him more than you know, i think.

ohhhhhhhh boy. did you get your flu shot? the fever worries the nurse in me. infection somewhere, be it sinuses, or lungs, or tonsils, or whatever part. hope you're okay. if you need soup, let me know. jenny souped me, and i'm better now and ready to pay it forward :)

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

LOL!! I could have used soup, but to let you see my HOUSE? Not like this. I haven't gotten my flu shot, but I'm fairly convinced it's related to the fibromyalgia. My sinuses are REMARKABLY clear, I have no tonsils, and allergy/sinus/wise, I feel pretty doggone great.

As for Brent, you know. He could stand to hear it, maybe even from you directly. (I'll probably cut and past this in an email to him today) He keeps asking me "How long is it gonna take for this to stop?" And I don't know, because it took years for me. I had to retrain my way of thinking, and I'm trying to teach him about it, but it's something you have to do for yourself.

Does it help you to have a new girlfriend? Because it seems to me that one of the reasons it took me so LONG to get over things was I didn't have someone "as good or better" to think about. Yet I don't want him to feel forced into a rebound relationship, I just want him to get on with his fucking LIFE. LIKE SHE DID.

[kokopelleigh.livejournal.com]

honestly, no, it doesn't help. the only thing that helped was me getting off the pity train and realizing why the hell am i wasting so much time/energy/tears/whatever on her when she can obviously, easily, make herself walk away. seriously, it's the whole cliched thing about why make someone your priority when you're their option? i thought about that, and when i realized i wasn't even an *option*, i cut and run. otherwise, i just look like an idiot. time to live the rest of my life. no one wants to see/hear someone brooding over woulda coulda shoulda all their damned life. it gets old.

...and thus concludes my morning soapbox. damn. sorry 'bout that! :P~

[kokopelleigh.livejournal.com]

well, i take that back....having someone DOES help, but as a supplement, as someone to experience new things with, not as a replacement. you're like trace; she has listened to me whine and bitch and cry and pity myself and then has kicked my ass and told me to get over it. she knows she's not a replacement. (laaawd, they BROKE THE MOLD with that one, there IS no replacement)
experiencing the new things and feeling the new feelings and anticipation doesn't mask the old ones i miss, but it gives me a new focus. for that i thank her. and i'd just bet you brent would thank you for that same thing, too, if he stopped and thought about it. :)

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

and i'd just bet you brent would thank you for that same thing, too, if he stopped and thought about it. :)

He did, kinda, this weekend. More thanks for making him feel wanted again, and for keeping him from being lonely all weekend long, for putting up with him and like you say, kicking his ass once in a while.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

And don't be a bit sorry. It's ALL going to him. In boldtype, first thing this morning, as soon as he gets here. See, the cliche' is perfect, because it's what he needs to hear. And it's something I haven't said yet.

[kokopelleigh.livejournal.com]

hmm...is he the philosophical type when he's baked? if so, let's stage an intervention! ha! he can learn from my mistakes and pitfalls. :)

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Yep, he is. Both baked and marinated, he's quite philosophical. And I'd love to have an intervention, have thought about it for some time now.

[skyearthandsea.livejournal.com]

I'm tired, I'm achy, I have the eyes burning going and I'm coughing. *whimpers*

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Well shit! I'm sorry, I didn't know I could pass it thru teh-intarwebs. Hope you get to feeling better Holly.