(no subject)

[mynewplace]

Few things are sweeter than anticipation.

I feel like one of those little Scottie dogs mounted on a magnet. The pull is incredible. And the push of the matching pole is almost tangible. I told Neme that it's like a living thing hanging in the air. The only thing that keeps me from losing my fucking mind is the flush of his face as he turns from me, because I know he's feeling it too.

This is probably the most horrible thing I've ever done. And quite possibly the most satisfying. And I think its because I've no memory of anyone EVER being drawn to me like this, and feeling the same way at the same time. Not in real life.

Comments

[the-turtle-girl.livejournal.com]

Why is it the most horrible thing you've ever done?

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Because he's borrowed. He's not free to do this. And I've known that from day one.

[the-turtle-girl.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. This is exactly why I have an open marriage. I don't think marriage entitles one to ownership. *hugs*

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

*hugsback* I know. He's not married, but she's still the live-in, love-of-his-life-gf.

[the-turtle-girl.livejournal.com]

Ah, but still, I don't equate that with ownership either. Sorry she doesn't feel the same as me, hon.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Me too. Although I have to admit, he's so delicious, I'm not sure I'd share him either. lol One hint that somebody else at work is flirting with him, even if she's a skankybitchho and I'm livid! Cracked myself up over that one.

[the-turtle-girl.livejournal.com]

he he

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

Well . . . Which is more important, doing what you think is 'right', or doing what will make you happy?

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Oh Gregory. Dang you for making me think! Karmically, doing what is 'right' is more important. In the past with other relationships, I have been trying to be a 'bigger' person. Doing little things with him that make me happy is one thing. But those little things just make me crave more, bigger things.

As of this moment, I am never emailing him again. All I can do is repeatedly resolve to let him be. Then fight myself while I feel that pull, and try my damnedest to separate myself mentally. All the while hearing the argument in my head that 'he will never be free' and 'Todd will never be him' and 'I want that mental connection'. But its too bad, I can't have him, so I'll just have to WAIT dammit! And maybe Todd can blank my mind enough that I can push him aside.

But that's just as of this moment.

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

Well, there was a time when I had the choice between doing what would make me happy, or what was right. I chose to do what made me, and her, happy, because that seemed more right to me than both of us being miserable. Sometimes the answer to a question depends upon the circumstances. You just have to decide what the right choice is for you.

Who is Todd?

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

The guy who is currently in jail. Due to be out on parole in February.

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

What's the story there?

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

:-( I was introduced to this guy some time ago, before he went back to jail on a parole violation. We've been talking, and writing. But we haven't made a real mental connection yet. He wants to see me when he gets out. Repeatedly, and with vigor. *giggle* I was very interested at first, because I had written Brent off. Then Brent and I started working in the same building, and he started coming around more than I expected him to.

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

Of course, my next question is: What did he do?

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Well, that's not something I want to go into here. We can talk tonight online if you're still curious.

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

All right.

[anaudicguy.livejournal.com]

Scottie dogs on a magnet? I've never seen that before.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

REALLY???? You've never seen these??


I guess I'm surprised because they were so common when I was growing up. Am thinking of buying this particular pair, just because you said this and thus I went searching for an image. I love these things.

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

I've never seen those.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Wow! Can I send you a pair?

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

Heh. Sure. You have a lot of magnetic doggies?

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I have a pair for you! And anaudic as well, if he likes.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Email me with your addy, sweetcheeks, and I'll get 'em out to you!

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

Gregory Anthony McClintock
1958 Easy St.
Fort Mohave, AZ 86426

Things from the 60s and 70s were pretty familiar to me in my house. My family never seems to throw anything away. But I don't think we ever had those.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

sweetheart, do you want me to lock this post? I mean, your ADDRESS!

[thehangedman.livejournal.com]

Oh, don't worry about it. It's already available for the public to see on my own journal. Not to mention my phone number, too.

[anaudicguy.livejournal.com]

Cool, news to me. Must be a regional thing maybe.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

No. I've figured it out. Its an AGE thing. They were a popular toy in the 60's and 70's. Before your time. And before ole' hangedman's time, too. lol So. Wanna pair?

[anaudicguy.livejournal.com]

I didn't want to say... ;-) Regional was a nicer explanation heh

Nah that's cool, but thanks for the offer :-)

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

*shrug* ok.