(no subject)

[mynewplace]

what have I done, what is wrong with me that I don't deserve to be loved the way I crave?

what have I done that I can see love all around me and yet there remains none for me to embrace? no flesh for me to hold, to claim for my own, nothing nothing nothing

how is it possible that more people than I can count will tell me that they love me, and I will love them, but still there will be no one for me?

I don't ask to remove what rightfully belongs to someone else. I don't ask for someone who does not want me in return.

all I've ever asked for is this one thing. for this one thing to remain. for all the words to mean something for a change. or for all the words to go away and for reality to take their place.

when do I get to experience satisfaction?

Comments

[o0twisted0o.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

It's hard. I know.

[thegn-leofwine.livejournal.com]

*hugs, but feels a little guilty, wondering how much of that is aimed at him, or if he's just letting his ego loose*

Alas, I think that's what all are searching for, but few ever truly achieve...

[tikimon.livejournal.com]

I have heard, from many sources, that it helps to feel complete within yourself first. Words of wisdom: "What you can't find within, you won't find without." If what you are searching for is not in your heart already, you will be very hard pressed to find it in someone else; it will never be enough.
Learning to love yourself is a very difficult thing, especially for those of us who have been through all that shit that makes us think we aren't worth it. But we are, and this societally prescribed 'happiness through having a significant other' thing is bullshit. If you want love, you have to be the source of it.
You are not the moon, honey.

Hmmm...

[so-dom.livejournal.com]

I'm Loved - it's so palpable I feel giddy at times - yet I can't put My hands or eyes on her, let alone wrap my arms around her in a hug...
I feel you. I've been loved twice - no make that three times - before in my life. I was in my thirties before a woman ever told me she loved me. She acted on it - so did the other two loves in My life.
The woman who loves me now is a person whom love flows from so freely - I'm so blessed, yet life just doesn't seem to want us to be together yet.
Someone posted here about loving one's self - that's wonderful - I do - but the pop-psychology doesn't assuage our concerns nor emptiness when our heart aches. I have another question about that - what about when you do love yourself but the romantic, life-partner type love hasn't come along to be shared? I've walked that road and it feels lonely - cause when you do develop a healthy self-relationship - you long to evolve beyond your own skin, share that love with another and watch your love grow in the exponential way that love does.
It sucks, it makes me want to cuss and howl at the moon and be pissy at times to think about it. I'm not sure about it all - what's going on with you - I'm just catching up on my friend's page as I've been dealing with my own long-distance drama and it takes time to be involved that way - time in ways that it doesn't take time if you are in the same town - God what's that like?
So anyway - that's My twenty-two-cents worth...

With Love - SoDom
I remember

[slytherinsheirx.livejournal.com]

Basically I agree with what Tiki said..
You can't give love properly if you can't first love yourself... hmmm..

Guess thats why I'm so fucked.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Thank you all. Very much. I've tried to discuss with a few of you what's going on inside me, and I think we've gotten somewhere when I've tried. I was kinda frustrated with the 'love yourself' thing, but I know that I don't do that enough. However, Will, you said very eloquently what I was thinking, that no matter how much you love yourself, you still crave that expansion of self. Some days I do, some days I don't so much.

The picture that set this off is now being used as an icon on a community I'm a member of. Once I stop vomiting until my insides bleed, maybe I can ignore it. Because every day brings new possibilities for healing. Sometimes even two new possibilities.

I love you guys.

[o0twisted0o.livejournal.com]

Ok. This is off subject. But I f-ing love that icon. (the punish me one)

I still think you need a hug. so... *hug*

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Leofwine made that for me. I like it a lot, too.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

well, not really 'FOR' me. For someone else. Who didn't get it. But I DID. bwaahahahahaaaa

[nemecic.livejournal.com]

I want you and I love you, I want to satisfy you and embrace you and be that flesh you want. I can give you all the love you want and then some, but when the time comes (because it will), but will you want it, will you want me, will you love me?

Always yours, in any way you want
Me

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Honey. There's so much I want to say. I'll email you, ok? I love you.

[nemecic.livejournal.com]

Ok dearie, I'll be waiting. *hugs*