Poetry from The Writers Almanac

[mynewplace]

I am not impressed with this piece of poetry.
edit:  I'm putting it behind a cut. It's too long.
 

 

Stopping along the Way
by David Wagoner

Heading south toward campus, my car
stops suddenly, abruptly, almost
on its own. My right foot
has found the brake pedal
before my eyes can admire
a very young possum strolling
across our right of way
at his personal intersection
of human cross-purposes,
some of whose breaks are squeaking
behind us now. The possum
pauses, lowers his gray-pink-
and-sooty snout to drink in
the odor of something
among the fallen and flattened
sycamore leaves. I've seen
too many of him lying down
even flatter than seemed
possible beside roads
and in gutters. I realize
my car's mere presence looming
over him won't quicken
those four deliberate paws,
won't urge him out of danger,
but before I can think or make
some warning sign, two cars
are honking. He lifts his head
dreamily, comparing
that sound to some distant sound
somewhere deep, far back
in his old, new mind, then begins
strolling forward again
and up onto the grass
among the unloaded, locked,
and abandoned bicycles
and empties and leaflets left
by fraternal and sisterly
orders on their own ways
to and from understanding
or back to forbidden gardens
and holes in the ground. Again
a car behind me honks.
And another. It's what geese do
heading south at the beginning
of winter. They want to know
the one in front still believes
they're there and are trusting him
to be sure where they're all going.
 

"Stopping along the Way" by David Wagoner from A Map of the Night. © University of Illinois Press, 2008. Reprinted with permission.

I know that poetry is very much a personal taste issue.  And for some reason, while I like the subject and story in the poem, I'm turned off by it's length, the number of words used (which seem excessive to me) and I'm not crazy about the style.  But it bothers me that this bothers me, because this is very similar to MY style.  I do try to be condensed and get the most use from each word. And I do try to avoid extensive length, and starting sentences at the end of a line.  For some reason that gripes my ass. 

So I'm posting a poem I don't really like, because ...  Well I don't know why. 

Comments

[anita-margarita.livejournal.com]

That reads a LOT like Billy Collins. I like it, but as you say, poetry is very personal.

[meglimir.livejournal.com]

interesting - i thought it had a good pace until about "lying down" and thereafter it seemed wordy.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

It's a GREAT concept, and some of the word choices are terrific. I'd love to take it and chop it up into something of my own. Or mark it with a red pen and send it back to him. lol

[airycat.livejournal.com]

While I can't say I dislike this, it reads more like prose than a poem, to me. Even free verse should have some sense of rhythm that I didn't get from this. (Did I miss it?) Also, breaking something this long into stanzas, even if they seem arbitrary (they usually aren't), makes it easier to read.

Nothing wrong with starting a sentence at the end of a line. That can be very effective.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Nope, you didn't miss the rhythm. I don't think it's there either.

I think starting a sentence at the end of a line is a personal gripe for me. I don't pretend to be a poet, can't bring myself to do so, but I LOVE to tell stories, and they often come out in poetic form.

I think I'm gonna like you! Welcome aboard.