(no subject)

[mynewplace]

I haven't had much to say these days.  I think even that sentence is a repeat.  I received a very sweet card from a very lucky man in the mail yesterday.  I now have "I love you" in writing with his signature, so it holds up in court at last. 

Busy weekend ahead, and I don't want it.  I have almost no money left and payday isn't until next Friday. I mean almost no grocery money, nothing.  I feel like a horrible person for having so quickly spent the money all of you gave me, but I did at least reserve it for crucial issues, like our glasses.  It was a great help.  Christmas is ALWAYS like this - tension and fear during the weeks between pay periods, then frantic attempts to keep the utilities on while providing gifts that will please my loved ones, cooking, working, going to performances, being cold and thus being in pain: there are just TOO MANY issues with this holiday.  I don't care much for it any more.

My dad tells other people (not me of course) that I throw my money away and don't spend it wisely.  I'm sure that's true, but changing that requires changing certain habits that are quite deeply ingrained.  If I have to think about one more single thing to do every day my brain will explode. I don't have time to break habits right now.  Truth is, I never do, and that means I'm supposed to make time, and can we say vicious circle everyone? Say it with me:  Vicious Circle.  Good. 

Well, it's back to the file room for more purging.  It will probably take me a week to finish this project, during which many other work issues will be ignored and back up on me.  siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

 I forgot - the one thing keeping me sane right now is the sound of The Drifters singing White Christmas in my head.   ba-do-beedo

Comments

[anita-margarita.livejournal.com]

(hugs)

Here's to a better New Year...

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[retro-rider55.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you finally heard those words, hon; they've been too long coming.

It's odd you should mention The Drifters; it was only years after the fact, when I finally heard their rendering of that tune that it made clear to me just what the phuque Elvis'd been trying for on his cut of it. And fell on his face, IMHO...

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's probably my worst stressor this time of year. I've come to hate December more than any other month - at least until THIS year. It feels weird, being so happy about having Brent around and STILL feeling stressed and angry over the money situ.

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[mastermindsgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm actually in a very similar mindset to yours at this point. It is so tempting to just tell everybody outside of my children "Merry Christmas" and let the fact that I could even muster up the energy and good cheer to say it be my gift to them.

I mean that. And the closer it gets to Christmas, and the less money we have, the more I'm thinking about just giving gifts of slightly burnt homemade cookies.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I wish I had the stuff to bake cookies! In fact, I've got to find some way to gather the ingredients for party mix because Scarlett is doing a presentation in English class on how to make it. BeFORE payday! BAH!