Wednesday

[mynewplace]

This will probably have to be two entries. I'm a member of 40-something, and OMG it's flooded now that it's in the spotlight.  It's nice that we've got loads of new members, but every single ONE of them is posting, and posting again, and then others post to copy that post, and its a bit tiresome. I guess that's awful of me to complain, but I think I liked it better when people just responded to posts, with links to their own journals.

 

The 40-something group is currently doing a meme regarding your life in sevens, or eights, or whathave you. I like that idea, so I'm going to give it a shot.  There are a lot of references in here to other posts I've made, but I'm at work. I don't have time to do the linkage right now.

 

7 - 1972-73   At age seven, mom and I had just moved into my stepfather's house in Pinch. (google it) I started second grade at a new school with two boys in my neighborhood, fell in love for the first time, began a close clique friendship with five or six girls in my grade which lasted until I moved, and hung out at home with two slightly older girls who were my friends. The boys were NOT my friends. They teased me mercilessly until I moved away at age 15, but after moving away I became friends with one of them. The teasing was something I was totally unaccustomed to, all the boys I'd known up to that point liked me, and it scarred me. When one boy's mother finally learned about the teasing, it was too late to do anything about it, but she was aghast just the same. That helped some.

 

14 - 1979-80  Had my first semi-real boyfriend, talked on the phone to boys all the time, was in ninth grade in junior high. I was in the band, which I loved despite the exhaustive marching; I was in chorus, including all county (under tuteledge of the teacher that Scarlett will have this year); I was tight with my clique and several other younger girls whom I adored. Still teased by the boys who lived on my street, but friends with several others, including (finally!) the one I loved. Had my first kiss, my first dance, my first make-out session. Was growing quite a set of tits, and was in fabulous shape due to the marching. Finally managed to quit piano lessons, for which I had no talent.  Had a beloved white poodle named Jimbo, an antagonistic relationship with my mother, and a great home. I believed we'd live there forever. I was wrong.

 

21 - 1986-87  Had my breast reduction surgery at this age.  I first realized that surgery caused me a lot of physical problems which other people didn't normally experience. I was working as a receptionist/secretary for a very small insurance underwriting firm. I spent EVERY weekend night in Kanawha City, where cruising on the fourlane, drinking and socializing was de rigeur for kids from 14 to 25 from three counties. Made lots of friends, had LOADS of sex with strangers. I was finally old enough to get into clubs, but some of my girlfriends weren't. They often managed to sneak in anyway, and a lot of my time was spent dancing and drinking. And again, screwing. I still lived with my mother, who didn't understand a bit of what I was doing, and attending church on Sundays because that was the rule of the house. 

 

28 - 1993-94  I worked for the phone company, in quite possibly the best job I've ever had.  I had severe endometriosis, and finally found a gyn who recognized it immediately and scheduled me for surgery the first time he examined me.  After surgery he told me that I had been in stage four of a five-stage disease, and had it not been caught in time I would have needed a hysterectomy. I was relieved, but also concerned. The doctor recommended pregnancy as soon as feasible and having no boyfriend and no prospects, he suggested a sperm bank.  My mother was horrified. I was uninterested in children and pregnancy - I was just glad to get rid of my periods. I moved into an apartment uptown during this year and developed a taste for codeine and bourbon. I acquired Molly, my beloved lab, and Max, my obnoxious cat. I read the sequel to "Gone With The Wind" and "California Dreamin'" written by Michelle Phillips. As a result I fell in love with Denny Doughtery.  (look him up) I spent weekends on the river with my cousin and her husband on their speed boat.  I was very happy.

 

35 - 2000-01 Scarlett was four, and in pre-school.  We lived with my mother and stepdad. I worked for Dam Safety, as I do now, had been there two years. I liked it for the most part, although I lived 35 minutes from work, and had trouble staying awake for the drive in.  I was diagnosed with TMJ, fiboromyalgia, arthritis (for which I was prescribed Vioxx!) and sleep apnea.  I was severely overweight, although I was three sizes smaller than I am now. I didn't date, and no one asked. I was active in my church, but growing suspicious of some of the activities there. I worked in our church's AWANA club as an assistant leader, and kinda hated it. I missed having my own home, and would move out the following year. My mother grew ill and was diagnosed with Leukemia during this year, moving temporarily to Columbus for treatment at the University. Scarlett was moving from big for her age to chubby, and my mother seemed incapable of correcting it.  Daycare seemed incapable of correcting it as well, and so was I.  She was just hungry all the freakin' time.  She took dance and was a very active child, but not yet showing real signs of her ADHD. We spent Christmas with my brother because my mother was in isolation in Columbus.  Is it any wonder I was grinding my teeth?

 

42 - 2007  I have a boyfriend who has no intentions of marriage. I am close to bankruptcy because I can't control my spending and my rent is more than I can afford. My daughter's father has been in her life for two years, and has proven to me time and time again that not dating or marrying him has been the best decision of my life. My daughter will be in middle school this year, and I dread the stress she will come under as this part of her life unfolds. I long to shield her just a year or two more, but her grades are too good. Who ever thought that phrase would turn up in my vocabulary?  I love the location of my home, but hate the size of it.  I'm in too much pain to perform my daily duties at the house, so it stays in a dismaying disarray. I have wonderful friends online, and wonderful friends in real life. I have a smaller social circle than I've ever experienced, but find the lack of pretention and phony behavior refreshing. This will probably be a good year, albeit a stagnant one. I am determined to grow this year, even if I don't improve my life financially.  I'm losing my relationship with my father, but my relationship with my mother is finally improving. I am fairly content. Finally.