Thursday Randomosity
Feb. 15th, 2007 01:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mynewplaceMy back teeth are worn down kinda flat. I used to unconsciously grind my teeth, especially at work. My boss got on my nerves, and my mother was driving me out of my freakin' mind. I've stopped almost completely, although I still bite my tongue on occasion.
I chew on both sides of my mouth simultaneously. Not all the time, if I chew gum or eat a meal I usually chew on the right, but if I'm eating a snack with my hands, I always put two pieces in my mouth at once in order to have one on either side. Popcorn, sesame sticks, etc.
I used to count things, like how many steps it took to get from one room to another, and try to get my steps to come out evenly. You know, start on one foot, end on the other, that sorta thing. I don't do that any more either. I have a lot more control over my life now than I did as a child, teen or young adult. I think that's why I don't do it. Well, plus the "eat things in twos" issue makes up for it.
I don't normally speak unless I'm spoken to first. I have to force myself to speak first to my boss if I arrive at work after he does, and occasionally I'll force myself to speak first in the hall, especially if the person I'm passing is higher up on the "totem pole". But it's unnatural to me, and a real effort. "Children don't speak until they're spoken to." wasn't a rule in my house, but it was a rule of the times in which I grew up.
My stepmother used to tease me about flirting with my father's friends if I smiled at them when they spoke to me, or when I spoke in return. It made me very self-conscious and very angry with her. Even 30 years later.
I had an online affair with a man that actually broke up his home for a while. I never laid eyes on him, and he'd seen one photo of me. Online ONLY, we never even spoke on the phone. I'm probably not as ashamed of that fact as I should be. I rationalize it by reminding myself that the woman was married to someone else at the time they were living together, and she DID get him back.
I AM ashamed of my tendency to pick up tiny speech mannerisms on the phone and make assumptions about the person's racial background as a result. I was wrong about someone today, having spoken with them several times on the phone then met them at lunch, and I was surprised. I was then disappointed with myself, both for making the assumption and for feeling the surprise afterward. I despise racial intolerance, and fret that I haven't fully eliminated my personal racism.
Brent felt like an asshole last night when he realized it was Valentine's Day. I told him not to feel that way on my account, but that was only half the truth. I wanted to continue by saying "After all, you don't love me and I don't need to be reminded of that on this day of all days." I have since tempered that statement in my mind until it sounds less cruel, but I will likely never get a chance to elaborate.
I chew on both sides of my mouth simultaneously. Not all the time, if I chew gum or eat a meal I usually chew on the right, but if I'm eating a snack with my hands, I always put two pieces in my mouth at once in order to have one on either side. Popcorn, sesame sticks, etc.
I used to count things, like how many steps it took to get from one room to another, and try to get my steps to come out evenly. You know, start on one foot, end on the other, that sorta thing. I don't do that any more either. I have a lot more control over my life now than I did as a child, teen or young adult. I think that's why I don't do it. Well, plus the "eat things in twos" issue makes up for it.
I don't normally speak unless I'm spoken to first. I have to force myself to speak first to my boss if I arrive at work after he does, and occasionally I'll force myself to speak first in the hall, especially if the person I'm passing is higher up on the "totem pole". But it's unnatural to me, and a real effort. "Children don't speak until they're spoken to." wasn't a rule in my house, but it was a rule of the times in which I grew up.
My stepmother used to tease me about flirting with my father's friends if I smiled at them when they spoke to me, or when I spoke in return. It made me very self-conscious and very angry with her. Even 30 years later.
I had an online affair with a man that actually broke up his home for a while. I never laid eyes on him, and he'd seen one photo of me. Online ONLY, we never even spoke on the phone. I'm probably not as ashamed of that fact as I should be. I rationalize it by reminding myself that the woman was married to someone else at the time they were living together, and she DID get him back.
I AM ashamed of my tendency to pick up tiny speech mannerisms on the phone and make assumptions about the person's racial background as a result. I was wrong about someone today, having spoken with them several times on the phone then met them at lunch, and I was surprised. I was then disappointed with myself, both for making the assumption and for feeling the surprise afterward. I despise racial intolerance, and fret that I haven't fully eliminated my personal racism.
Brent felt like an asshole last night when he realized it was Valentine's Day. I told him not to feel that way on my account, but that was only half the truth. I wanted to continue by saying "After all, you don't love me and I don't need to be reminded of that on this day of all days." I have since tempered that statement in my mind until it sounds less cruel, but I will likely never get a chance to elaborate.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-16 05:46 am (UTC)Also, I compulsively spell. Yes, I am that much of a nerd. Even my neuroses are nerdy.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-16 10:48 am (UTC)He didn't offer it as an apology or as an excuse. He didn't say "Oh, just realized it's VD, sorry I'm an asshole" or anything like that. And when he did finally mention it (at about 10:30 that night) I had the grace to say if you're saying you're an asshole on my account, don't bother. He'll be the first to tell you he's an asshole, he's proud of it most the time. Indeed he is NOT required to celebrate it, but you're right - some lame ass "Oh, it is??" doesn't hold water.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-29 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 01:11 pm (UTC)