Saturday

[mynewplace]

Zone Alarm is blocking my internet access. I can't figure out how to make it let me through, so I turned the fucker off. 

I feel like I'm running naked through a mine field. 

But of course I feel pretty strange anyway. I woke up at 7:45 (before Scarlett on a Saturday??)  And so far I have baked cinnamon bread, started a load of laundry, picked up shit off the floor, swept the kitchen, fucked with the computer, run the sweeper, washed a small load of dishes, and cleaned the kitchen. 

Something is wrong.  I'm edgy and kinda angry, snapping at Scarlett over her choice of cartoons (myGAWD they're insipid!) and for reciting lines from them. She's driving me apeshit with her "I LOVE that cartoon! I've never seen it before but I LOVE it!" and OMG I'm gonna smack me some Bratz!!  I think the Lamictal is kicking in. I'm up to a 100 mg dose, and I know that Shelly has mentioned how much more she seems to get done now that her meds are working. I'm not sure I like it, because I'm doing things that I know will make my back hurt like a mutherfucker later. And that worries me. But I think I'm gonna milk this energy burst while I can. 

I want to teach Scarlett how to make date balls before her dance recital this afternoon. But I need to take something first to help me relax my jaw, because something is giving me a pain in my TMJ muscles. I don't know if it's the tension I'm feeling this morning or if it's from chewing gum so much this week. Goddamnit. I'm just so fucking confused. 

I'm gonna go fold clothes now, and put towels in the washer.

Comments

pace yourself woman!

[padiwack.livejournal.com]

i can sympathize with that fucking confused feeling for sure... i am taking up space at work, and my house is dirty/cluttered/crazy like a 'mofo..my mantra today is "fuckitfuckitfuckit" and i don't mean in the GOOD way...*sigh* ;-)

Re: pace yourself woman!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I'm trying. Now that I'm out of the shower the headache is coming back, so it MIGHT be sinuses. Soooooooooo, I'mma see what kinna drugs I got.

[kokopelleigh.livejournal.com]

at least later when you're laid up with a heating pad on your back you won't have to worry about needing to get up and clean the house, right?

how long have you been on the lamictal? i dont know much about it; i wonder if you'll always have this much energy or if you're just getting used to it...if you're all energetic now, i hope there's no crash and you go for a period with NO energy whatsoever. :/

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Right. And it'll be nice when Brent gets here. Cause I won this weekend's round of "Who gets to feed the drunkard??" bwaaahahahahahahahha

This is my fifth week on the Lamictal. I kinda hope I DO always have this much energy, because it will help me burn off some fat. The reason I suspect it might is I have gone so goddamned long with NO energy whatsoever. I mean, a year or more, with only brief periods of upness when Brent is nice. Either I've had so goddamn much caffeine this week I've got it stored in my pores, or the pills are finally fucking kicking in. I HOPE it's the latter.

I know you're not friended to harlot_brady, but she's taking this too. She's only at 50 mg, and she's starting to get a period where she is able to do a lot of shit during the day and she feels like she might actually be able to maintain the activity level. I'm hoping it will affect me the same way. Check out her comments here, it will give you an iea.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm holding steady at 50 mgs, and I'm not sure if this week's high-energy housework was from the Lamictal or perhaps some wonky malfunction of my monthly cycle. I am inclined to believe it was the medication, because usually at this time of the month all I want to do is curl up on the couch and weep over bullshit. Or have intense random freakouts which require a heavy dose of antipsychotics.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that what I've done is nothing unusual or out of the ordinary (for someone else). I haven't done anything that isn't easily maintainable, even for me. The difference is, I now have the motivation and the desire to do the maintenance. It's frustrating, having let myself down so often, because I keep wondering if this is permanent or if I should keep my expectations low just in case I do crash.

Ah, the perils of being mentally interesting.

Hope your Saturday is easy, dear. Take something for that headache and put your feet up, if you can slow down enough.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

There's no WAY I'm gonna get my feet up. (At least not until I'm on my back later this evening. And OMG that makes me giggle) I've popped a couple Excedrin, I'm suckin' down iced tea and just trying to milk this speed for all it's worth.

I can understand your "motivation and desire" and omg I'm jealous of it. I wish I had that, but I just don't. Not yet anyway, but I am today developing the hope that this isn't just left over caffeine, but a real effect of the meds.

How is it you've stopped at 50 mg? The sample kit I'm using has taken me up to 100 in 5 weeks time. I think you and I are about the same size (with height and weight differences kinda evening one another out). Did you get a sample pack? Or how did they do the buildup of meds?

[mastermindsgirl.livejournal.com]

Ah, crap. Didn't realize I wasn't logged in. But you knew it was me, right? :P

i relate!

[padiwack.livejournal.com]

"Ah, the perils of being mentally interesting."

oh yeah.

Re: i relate!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

It's true! Well, not perils so much as an incredible depth that sometimes gives me such PRIDE. I'm DYING to share it with Brent, but he's so slow to express interest. It's why I write here - there's just so goddamned much inside me that deserves to be out and in circulation. Maybe it's just narcissism, but I feel like I've got a lot to say to people. And maybe it's NOT narcissism. I dunno. Lawz! This rush is getting outta hand!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

yep!

[el-jefe59.livejournal.com]

When I think of the cartoons I grew up watching, it really makes me mad to see the kind of boring stuff they are offering to kids nowadays. I guess I am turning into one of those old fuddy duddies I swore I'd never turn into.....

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I MISS Foghorn Leghorn, and Bugs.

[el-jefe59.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Me too!

[onesexiladee.livejournal.com]

I tend to believe there isnt a worthwhile cartoon out there anymore. The days of good cartoons are long gone!!

I love date balls they are my favorite Christmas cookie. I usually get cookies made by now; but I dont see that happening this year at all. Christmas will be here and gone and I will have missed the whole thing lol!

Is the Lamictal for depression or anxiety? I have both so bad that if I dont find something soon I just may snap! Hope the rest of your weekend is great! Hugs!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Lamictal is actually for bipolar disorder. I don't know if it acts as an antidepressant, or just a mood stabilizer. But my mood ain't stabilized today I tell u whut!

Just sayin'

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy

Hello lamppost, what'cha knowing
I've come to watch your flowers growin'
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doo-it in doo doo, feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy

I got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me
Life I love you, all is groovy

Re: Just sayin'

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Somehow, just doesn't fit today. I DO Love that song, tho! If I'd heard it this morning, it just might have worked!

[retro-rider55.livejournal.com]

My eldest sister was so intent on not being our dad when it came to parenting that not only was corporal punishment out, and the kid almost never did hear the word 'no' (it seems; sis was always way too permissive with the Baguette's* flippancy), but my niece was also forbidden any Bugs Bunny, etc, as if this would inspire her to drop an anvil on someone's head, or whatever.

If there was anything modern in the way of animation that has any merit, I would say that would be selected segments of Ren & Stimpy, say, Volume One: The Classics, and Volume Two: The Stupidest Stories. These two offerings have the barest amount of the bodily efluvia-based humour that parents object to. Though face it; all kids, including preacher's kids, (I know, my sister married one) tell fart jokes.

(*This refers to my brother-in-law's appellation for his daughter. This can be followed in his column "The Old Bag" in www.ariverneversleeps.com, the on-line fly-fishing magazine he contributes to. His last name is Baglo, my sister is the Old Bag, and their daughter is The Baguette...)

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I don't even know if Ren & Stimpy is still considered "modern". I guess more modern than Bugs, but not current. I don't think my kid would like it.