(no subject)

[mynewplace]

Pavanne asked me about him today. She hurt me while I was in over my head, right in the middle of it, and I had to shut her out, stop talking to her about him altogether. Now it’s too painful to go back to where she left off and explain what happened to get things to this point. She asked if I managed to keep track of how he was doing, as it had been so long since I had spoken with him. I tried, but I couldn’t explain what little I know, what little I glean from casual comments and that subconscious thrum that echoes inside me. She’s too far behind on the entire situation, and I have to dig too deep, go too far back, it hurts too much to think about it all again. So I brushed it off. Yes, I brushed off the chance to talk about HIM.  Although its all been relegated to the realm of fantasy now, it is still too real to my heart to broach the subject objectively. All she knows is that I’m still hurting. She hates seeing me in pain, but its slowly ebbing, like a tired tide after a hurricane. So I gloss it over, focus on the current, smiling as I tell her about new friends who have come crowding into my line of vision. The Sun that shines above them all, distant and blurred through tears and pain and that haze that glazes over anything that is too good to be true, that Sun shines for me alone. That can no longer be shared.

Nemecic. I miss you.

Comments

[nemecic.livejournal.com]

I miss you too love, you can't imagine how much I miss you *hugshugshugsand kisses*, but if you look in your inbox, you'll find something from me waiting for you there *kissesandsmiles*. And I am glad dearie that your pain is ebbing, and I am happy for all your new friends, and I am happy for everything that is good and joyful for you.

Love you (a lot!)
Valia

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Yes, I got your email. And I responded. And I'm SO glad you're here, and commenting. Sometimes it feels like I'm just talking into space, you know? I can always count on you to have something to say. Thank you.

[nemecic.livejournal.com]

No need to thank me dearie, what I say, it is always true (in my eyes). *hugs*