Thursday

[mynewplace]

My daughter has aquired an occasional lisp, because she thinks it sounds 'cute'. I've begged, pleaded, and demanded that she stop. She 'forgets'. Despite my desire to beat her, I have not. Instead, I told her today that she would start speech therapy as soon as I spoke with her teacher. Crushed her little spirit, I did. I don't LIKE making idle threats (we only have two weeks of school left, after all) but it drives me NUTS when she talks with a lisp. Because she does it on PURPOSE. She has no concept that she could be ridiculing someone who cannot help it. She's not cruel-natured, but I'm still doing my damnedest to ensure that she never BECOMES cruel. Gotta keep her soft hearted. 

Typical things still eating at me. This new guy is very adamant about not wanting a 'relationship'; not looking to 'fall in love' (bleh!) and not wanting anything 'long-term'.  That last bit REALLY pisses me off. I know that if I just let him have his head, be available on occasion, and be myself when he's around, he might stay. Truth is, if I could have ignored Brent's mouth run-off, HE would have stuck around a long time as well. Damn men and their insistence on running their fucking mouths. If I didn't keep HEARING all these offensive words, they would be far easier to ignore. 

Roy also sees me as an 'independent woman' who 'doesn't need anybody', 'knows what she wants' and is 'making it on her own'.  He sees no need in me, and those of you who have been reading for any length of time know that inside the woman who appears on the cover, there's a girl who desperately needs someone to hold her, and kinda take care of her once in a while. If he doesn't want to stick around 'long term', I sure as hell will NOT be showing him that part of myself.

So despite a sound fucking, I am still on the market. Roy can do what he wants. I will let him come over and screw around once in a while, especially after Scarlett leaves, when I'll be free to fuck him in the mornings before work. But I won't be sharing much of my 'inner self' with Roy.  I will continue to look for someone who wants to know me intimately, and wants to love what I am.

Comments

[el-jefe59.livejournal.com]

Borith Karloff had a lithp. I'm jutht thaying.....

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I bet he didn't get it when he was nine.

I couldn't say my 'r's. I said "say it wight!" a lot as a child.

[gymorama.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you're handling the lisp correctly.

As for Roy, who knows what will happen with regular exposure to you. none of us (men) sit down and say "i think I'll fall in love today". Suddenly we find ourselves there.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

And men never consider that the constant repetition of "I'm not looking to fall in love" coupled with "I don't want long term" means you find yourself in love alone, with a woman who has built her guard against you the entire time you've been around, making specific effort to shield herself against your particular enchantments.

[gymorama.livejournal.com]

good point

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

And a painful one to write.

[amok-about-sex.livejournal.com]

I understand you 100% baby.
C doesn't have a clue why he almost recieves a steel pipe upside his head some days.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I hate that this ignorance is so fucking universal. I need a big butch woman with a strapon who doesn't expect me to reciprocate. Eh, Fuck it, that wouldn't work. I MUST have the MAN SMELL. And feel. Fuckers.

[skyearthandsea.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling pretty crappy about men this morning too. Really pissed at their stupidity.

I have trouble with r's too, but I turn them into l's, so that anything that ends -er has a real danger of becoming -el in my mouth.