Today and this week

[mynewplace]

I wish I understood layouts better. I love the text style of the Novel Approach one, but I'd lie to have either this 

    or this      as the background for my page. 

However, I'm concerned that it would make my page too busy. I hate busy. 

I'm entering a period of strange tension, most likely hormonal. I can't seem to find what I want to eat, and I want everything.  I'm in a lot of pain, and stiff, despite having had incredible sex yesterday. I've got the furnace on, but my hands and feet just won't warm up. And there isn't a comfortable spot in this house - no matter where I tried to sleep last night I woke up sore and miserable. Something's wrong. I hope it goes away soon, whatever it is. 

I wish I had the money for something like eHarmony. Of course I probably wouldn't find anyone, but I'm just so sick and tired of this routine. You know, I really should just sit back and enjoy it! If I had someone I could count on to have sex with me on a regular basis, I would be happier while I'm alone. I don't think I'd worry so much about the solitary times, if I could COUNT on someone.  It's all the work and effort and constant stress of disappointment that eats away at my contentment. Nothing is ever simple, this I know with most unwavering sureity. (I've got to quit watching these British movies. snicker)  It's yet another example of how my life is slipping past me because I insist on all the characters being present before I start to live it. Fortunately one of the things I dreaded most - the idea of sex after 40 - is now not so much a fear as a welcome reality.  I was concerned that I'd lose interest, lose flexibility (which I have) and lose my physically enthusiastic reaction. Well, no fear any longer on those accounts. I must instead find some other form of energizing myself. Sex just isn't available enough to meet my needs.

The washer is finished.  Time to find more food.

Comments

[myroxylon.livejournal.com]

Let's see: I broke the heart of my confused gay friend. We see each other other day when I pick my brat up and he picks his adopted brats up from school...but no words..I'm staying in my current job until the summer because I want to go on another trip in August.....and as far as the guy breaking my heart...jesus christ...every day is a new twist, a saga in that sad, sordid affair... I am so full of self-loathing I cannot stand to even look at myself in the mirror anymore...the most exquisitive pain in the world in the moment is that pivotal moment when you realize the person you have pourered your whole being into doesn't give a shit about you....sooo, I walk around with a smile plastered on my face but meanwhile my heart is shattered into a thousand pieces and I feel ever increasinginly jaded....love sucks...and that is such a redundant phrase, but geez, its so accurate....

[myroxylon.livejournal.com]

Damn my typos!!!

exquisitive pain in the world in the moment is that pivotal moment ...

WTF?

I meant : the most exquisitive pain in the world is that pivotal moment when you realize..blah blah blah....

I hate Sundays!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I understood, believe me.

Are you going to China then?

[myroxylon.livejournal.com]

Yes. I love China....I wish I could there but due to having a child, I cannot, its just not feasible...damn reproduction!!!! :--)

[myroxylon.livejournal.com]

Live..the missing word is "live"

Pity the company who hires me as secretary!!! I type a gazillion words a minute but make a gazillion mistakes... therefore, if you balance it out, I must type about 5 WPM.