Friday the 13th

I never use my "Happy girl" icon any more.  :-(  

My friend Nancy (to be distinguished from Brent's friend Nancy) says she's not sure why God put men on this earth, but she's sure he had a reason.  I told her I think it's so we women could learn control before the children came. Same reason he put dogs here.  

This is probably the worst Friday the 13th I've ever had, so far.  I usually have really good luck on Friday the 13th.  Not yet today. If I get a chance to smack Brent upside the head, my luck might turn.  Don't ever tell a woman she has a standing invitation to your home, unless you're ready to hand her a key.  Or at least ready to tell your friends at work that you're seeing someone.  goddammit

No Brent tonight, so my luck is bound to shift.  I wish I could bring myself to do my dishes.  I fucking hate being here today.

aaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll better

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Gyro
Hummus
Stuffed grape leaves with feta
Diet Coke

much with the happiness and smileage. 

I'll probably have a wave of peace hit me here in about a minute - food has been my drug this past week. I'm getting a rush of relaxation after certain foods just like I get with codeine. so bring it on, bruddah  

Okay everybody, start humming "Gentle On My Mind".....

Now read: 

It's knowin' that your door is always open

And your path is free to walk

That makes me keep my robe a lyin'

stretched across the bottom of your bed

cracks me up!

When my 60-year-old Assembly-of-God aunt sends me stuff like this:

 

Subject: Personal ads

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married again.
So she put an ad in the local newspaper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

Two days later the doorbell rang. She opened the door, and much to her dismay, there sat a gray-haired gentleman in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.

"Are you responding to my ad?" the woman asked. "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?"

"Yes, I am," the man replied.

The old lady sneered: "Just look at you. You have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled and said: "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms, either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, and softly replied: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

The wedding is set for Saturday.