Saturday

I don't feel good. Not just a physical 'feel bad', but there's a mental block going on. There's a negativity inside me that is spilling over into everything I think and do. While the Lexapro does seem to be giving me a boost of energy, and it seems to have a bit of a diuretic effect, my overall attitude is slipping down, and my muscles are not a bit relaxed. In fact, I've found overall I'm more tense, later into the evening, and throughout the day. 

Of course the negativity could be related to other things as well. I don't feel much like talking, to anyone. Roy has called a couple of times, but since he has been gone a lot, and will likely be out of town this weekend, there's no opportunity for us to do anything together. He still wants to get laid, of course, but at this point I don't really care one way or the other. I don't feel like I can talk to him any more about things that are important to me, because I don't know how long he'll be around. And I'm not the least bit interested in opening up any further to him. 

My kid will be leaving tomorrow. I think that's feeding into this melancholy as well. She doesn't feel well, either. We had lunch with Myria and Harv and the kids, but I brought her home afterward. She's lying on the couch now, watching "The Parent Trap". It's full of melancholy music, which isn't helping much either. 

Eh, I'm not going to elaborate any further. This is down enough to be.