May you live in interesting times

Eh, whatever. 

I got a phone call today.  From Greece.  I was rude at first, because I was afraid it was a sales call. I'm sorry Val. You sound so beautiful - as always. 
I wish I could see Greece.   I've never wished that before.  But I do, now. Wish it with all my heart. 

I've been nervous as a cat all morning. Tense and uptight, waiting for something to happen but I don't know what. He has been trying to fill my head, and I've been shoving him away. Searching for something else to think about. 

The guy I've been emailing with is very sweet.  I don't know what he looks like. I won't make the mistake of saying anything remotely affectionate early in the friendship. Never again.  He wants to wait to meet me, until it's 'like old friends' meeting. By that time I will likely have lost interest, or become convinced that he is too gentle and too old to suit me. So I shrugged and said fine. Moving on. 

Some child asswipe on Swing Life Style said "Hey baby want to watch me cum?" last night. And I returned my standard "Fuck no, idiot."  So now I have a nasty message waiting for me over there, which makes me laugh and LAUGH!   Because he can get kicked off for that shit. I can't wait to see what it says, and send it to the website managers. heh heh heh heh heh He and his wife are on there together, and she'll be so pissed at him for getting them kicked off!!  Young hotheaded boys are dumb. And yes, he was 27, so I am qualified to call him young, and/or child. 

This day better not suck.

(no subject)

The U.S. is a bad influence on Mexico. Poor Fox can't make up his freakin' mind, because he's so desperate to try and please us. Stupid-ass conservative drug-phobes:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/americas/05/04/mexico.drugs.ap/index.html?eref=yahoo

And The Vatican and the Chinese Church are strappin' on their six-guns for a duel, I think:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060504/ap_on_re_as/vatican_china

I was glad we didn't opt to kill Moussaoui. I held my breath yesterday at 4:30, waiting to hear if we'd slid over the edge into insanity. I was reminded of waiting for the OJ verdict. I was far more disappointed then. 

News. It makes my brain hurt.

UPDATE:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060504/ap_on_re_af/morocco_moderate_preachers

*assumes Elaine Benis posture*
GET OUT!  
/elaine

You've got to be KIDDING ME!   THIS is WONDERFUL!  I am pleased as punch to read this.

50 Random Things

I haven't seen this meme in a long time.  And I haven't started a trend in a long time. So I decided to post this and see what happens. 

Originally posted in March, 2005. Some of the items have changed, so I've updated it a bit. Originally stolen from phaballa and danxsunday

1. I was born with eleven fingers.

2. I really do have two different colored eyes, but the difference is very subtle.

3. I won a settlement in a car accident and lived off it for almost two years.

4. I have filed bankruptcy.

5. I have seen my father naked.

6. I have owned my own home.

7. I knew all the words to every song from “The Sound Of Music”, and could sing either the melody or the harmony parts before I was ever allowed to watch the movie.

8. I have worked for the U.S. Secret Service, and knew the Secret Service codename for President Reagan.

9. I had coal black hair as a child, and it lightened as I grew older. When introducing me and my stepsister to a coworker, my stepfather once described me as “the black one”.

10. I was pulled over, arrested, and taken to jail by a bike cop.

11. I’m a trained interior decorator.

12. I’m a trained pharmacy technician. 

13. I first suspected I was pregnant when I found myself drinking spicy dill pickle juice straight from the jar.

14. I have never had a legitimate proposal of marriage.

15. I have never received a piece of jewelry from a man. That is no longer true. I have, however, still never recieved a ring from a man, that he purchased himself for me.

16.  I suspect that #14 and 15 are two of many subconscious reasons for my lack of self-esteem. 

17. I’m not comfortable when people try to buy me or give me things. I've gotten over this. I like it now. lol

18. I raised a yellow-naped Amazon parrot from a spiky-headed chick, fed her on liquid gruel and mothered her until she was a beautiful adult bird who could say over 50 different words and phrases, sing, and could identify (by speaking their names) various members of my family accurately.

19. I have held a hummingbird captive in my hand.

20. San Francisco was the first big city I fell in love with. I still long to return.

21. I believe that God exists, and loves me. And I believe there will be a time after I die when I will understand what the fuck He was thinking.

22.  I’ve had breast-reduction surgery.

23. I’ve had my navel pierced, and have purchased the equipment to have it done again.

24. I have overcome mild obsessive-compulsive disorder. 

24. I have overcome mild obsessive-compulsive disorder. 

HA-ha!

25. When I was in grade school I used to catch glimpses of porn flicks on a drive-in screen on Sunday nights, as we would drive home from church.

26. I lived in a fantasy world populated by the characters from the television show “The Fitzpatricks” during my entire seventh grade year.

27. I have never trusted a man in real life enough to let him see my face during an orgasm.  Also no longer true. But most men haven't seen it, because they've been "busy". 

28. I would abandon every friend I have for the man who cared enough to step into the gap in my life. He would have to be a specific type and have a very strong personality in order for me to do that, and I would be just as willing to accept a man who wasn’t that specific type and personality. But I wouldn’t abandon my friends for anyone else.

29. I lost eighty pounds in six weeks, primarily through night-sweats, after I had Scarlett.

30. I did not name my daughter after the character of Scarlett O’Hara in the movie Gone With The Wind. I named her after the character of Scarlett O’Hara in the BOOK Gone With The Wind. There IS a difference.

31. I had a dream about my unborn daughter before I learned I was pregnant.

32. I used to have a crush on Denny Doherty from The Mamas And The Papas, until I learned that he was in love with Michelle Phillips, and not just using her. I lost interest in him after that.

33. I have kissed Garth Brooks.

34. I have fallen in love on sight.

35. I am remarkably astute in assessing a person’s character. Although I am sometimes wrong.

36. I worked for the U.S. Postal Service for over four years. No one who knew me then ever asks why postal employees kill one another.

37. I used to sing karaoke on a regular basis, and had a following. They called me “Kitten”. Don’t call me that.

38. I have committed myself to a mental hospital twice.

39. I have a pentacle formed by the lines in my palm; it’s very prominent in my right hand, but is slightly visible in my left as well.

40. I HATE it when a man asks me if he can kiss me.

41. I used to hate long hair on men.

42. I think bald men are sexy.

43. I can count on one hand the number of blonde men I have been sexually attracted to in my lifetime.

44. I would be thrilled to have sex with several of the men on my friends list. And one of the women.

45. I have actually HAD sex with one of the men on my friends list. ;-)

46. I had to give away my dog Molly ten years ago, when I was pregnant with Scarlett. My mother MADE me do it.  I still miss her. And I still resent it.

47. I would probably give serious consideration to a proposal of marriage from my daughter’s father, even now.   Say it with me folks - NEVAHH!!!

48. I hate to drive long distances.

49. I don’t have a lot of love or respect for some of my closer family members.

50. I used to want to be a porn star.

Sex and physical illness

I can't remember when I last got laid. I can remember the guy, and the incident, just can't remember the date. I'm thinking it was about three weeks ago. 

I've gone longer without. But it has been months since I went this long without hope of sex. Without the adrenaline-rush of an anticipated chance meeting, or a phone call, or an email. SOMEthing to stir my body into sexual response. I haven't had an orgasm in about three weeks. And I think that's my problem. Sometimes, when I get like this, self-induced o's don't help the issue much. 

I went for several months with some hazy thoughts that perhaps if I could have sex, I would feel better physically. Last year, I had that theory proven, and it's gone from 'hazy thoughts' to evidence that has ME convinced sex is crucial for my personal health and well-being. I started swinging, and my body began to tone up, my arthritis eased, and I forgot what my fiboromyalgia felt like.  The fiboromyalgia snuck up on me a couple months ago, and I've been in denial, trying to pretend I don't really have it, or this is only a temporary issue, or my body hurts just because I'm fat. But I am coming to the conclusion that sex was keeping the fiboromyalgia at bay as well. And when the sex began decreasing in frequency, it set my body up for the return of the evil ache. 

My shins have been aching for about two weeks now. The arthritis in my knuckles, my hips and knees is flaring - my body acts like it's 25 degrees outside, with snow on the ground, and a wind chill factor. I can't remember the last time my lymph nodes hardened, but a couple days ago, I noticed knots behind my left ear. And they hurt like a mutherfucker.

Clearly, my body is suffering from something. 

I'm afraid it's a lack of testosterone.