Anatomy of a cut-off

Ever wonder how a woman comes to the point where she cuts a man off completely? Deletes him from her address book, deletes him from her IM list, deletes him from her friends list on Yahoo, and marks him as "Ignored" in her Instant Message list?

Here's how:

Act like you want to meet me, but don't make any plans to do so. Force ME to press you for a meeting. 

At that meeting, act very interested in me, bring along a movie with the anticipation of coming to my house to watch it. Come to my house, at my invitation, watch a movie, and then make a pass at me. Don't ask for my phone number or anything, but drag yourself away reluctantly late that night. 

Don't contact me for several days. Force me to speak to you, instead of being spoken to. When you DO speak, say things about 'falling in love with me" and wanting to meet my child. That's it. Make me REALLY suspicious. 

Spend a couple hours one night talking to me and ask me to come to your house to spend the night. Ask at MIDNIGHT with your youngest child at home with you. Listen to me tell you no, while thinking "What a FOOL!" 
Ask for my phone number after I call it to your attention that you haven't. Ask if you can see me during the following week. Actually make real-time plans to do so. Join my silly little Yahoo Group where all my pictures are, even though you've already seen me naked in person.

The next day? Don't call. Unjoin the group. Don't answer any of my IM's. That will get you deleted from my IM list.

Then leave the rest to fate. Because when I see the following astrology forecast in my  email box on Monday morning? I'll do the rest of the cutting:

Daily Horoscope  by Astrology.com	Monday March 13, 2006

Virgo Somebody you've been counting on changes their mind at the last minute. This kind of capricious behavior isn't charming anymore -- just annoying. Cut them off. You've got better things to do with your time.

You know what? Even this is fixable. But he isn't interested in me enough to fix it, and is so fucking clueless he couldn't figure it out if he wanted to.

Crying already - but they're tears of gratitude!

So. I'm making plans to indulge in some debauchery with my favorite married guy, Sammie-boy, on Friday morning. Yes, I'm doing the traveling, which is out of character for me, but I am in the mood to loose my wicked self, and have the spare cash to do so because I've got my income tax back. Sure, I asked for the day off in order to pay bills etc., but this is more fun, and I need some fun. Right? Right.

 

Been emailing with saidSam regarding these plans, and fired one off this morning to confirm I would indeed be heading up the interstate Friday morning.

 

So that will put me in there, what? Around eleven or twelve? Is that ok?

 

And I get this back:

 

Most likely around 11:00-11:30, I will have a room all good to go.

Do you want me waitin on you naked?

 

He is offering to pay for the room. HE IS OFFERING TO PAY FOR THE FUCKING ROOM PEOPLE!!!

 

I had no intention of asking him to pay for anything; it's my trip, I offered to come, it's all been my idea and my doing. 

Those of you who know me, who have read my journal for a while, you have some idea how much this means to me. 
It's these gestures of kindness that win my heart folks. 
It doesn't have to be paying for a room, it can be something as small as calling in the middle of the day because you're thinking about me. 
Sending me an email just to chat. 

The fact that so few who express a dating or sexual interest do these things makes something like paying for a room seem gargantuan when it happens. 

My sense of entitlement is so fucking screwed that what other people would take as a matter of courtesy comes across to me as borderline commitment. 

That's right - treat me good and I'll love you forever, because it happens so infrequently that it catches my heart off guard.