(no subject)

I went to bed at midnight, feeling mentally hugged. I actually had to wear my TMJ splint to bed, still have it in, because my jaws and cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. I woke up with a smile on my face. And I actually woke up 30 minutes before the alarm went off, in spite of not getting to bed until late. I tickled Scarlett out of bed for a change. And she got all the hugs she needed before she left this morning. I'm taking down my profile from both Matchdoctor and AdultMatchdoctor.  If I want or need to go back, I can, its free, and its no big deal. But I don't want any more contacts from there.

The buck has been coaxed out of the woods, Merry! And for a change, he actually had me eating out of his hand. He's pure lovely inside, and the work its required to restrain myself has been well worth the patience and effort. And I believe it will continue to be so. I might be wrong, have been before. But there are no ties on this one - no strings binding him to anyone else at all. And the blunt honesty with which I sometimes shame myself is something he welcomes.

I'll be wearing this smile all day long.

And in something remarkably related - yet relegated to the back of my mind - Todd is NOT getting out. I found out yesterday that he has to finish his parole in prison. And I was so fucking relieved. It wasn't right with him, the mental connection just wasn't there, and it would have been just the two of us using one another. He had things going on behind my back (or so he thought!) the entire time, and while I was convinced that a sexual partner was all I wanted from him, I would have been hurt if he'd continued what I knew he was doing, and what he denied all along.