mynewplace: (cheeese!)
FYI:

The landscaping mulch being used at the mall across the street smells like spoiled barbecue. 

That's all for now.

Tuesday

May. 20th, 2008 04:02 pm
mynewplace: (d'oh!)

It is broken for sure and certain, just below the fifth toe.  

Hurts like crazy today because of all the walking I did yesterday.  

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

I can't even go home early.  Don't think I can take off tomorrow, either. 

Monday

Jan. 28th, 2008 10:38 am
mynewplace: (aaiiiii)
I hate having no INTERNETS!!!!!

I have gone through 240 posts this morning, just TRYING to catch up!

This is insane. I wish I had money to get internets. Or at least a wireless thingymabob. 

Weekend, good.  Spent Friday night alone, and most of Saturday.  VERY GOOD. 

Today - nearly cried at idea of getting up and going to work.  Asked out loud while turning off alarm "Why? Why do I hate this so? What am I going to do?"  

I am going to do nothing.  I dreamed last night that my landlord came by and told me to move out by February 1 because he had someone willing to pay the full rent. I reminded him he had to give me 10 days, and he did so. (How generous.)  Didn't really happen of course. I just want to move out so bad I'm looking for any excuse.  I also have an overwhelming dread of EVER asking ANYONE to help me move. NEVER. AGAIN.  

I can't think about that now. I'll think about that some tomorrow.

Wednesday

Oct. 10th, 2007 09:10 am
mynewplace: (headdesk)
Wednesday -  The hardest of all the days to spell.  Wednesday, and February.  Frebrurary. 

Anyway.


It's only gonna get to seventy four or so today.  Isn't my landlord lucky??  Oh yes, yes he is.  Here's interesting news:  I shut everything, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING down on that damned unit.  No fan, no air, no nuttin'. 

It's still cackling away under my daughter's bedroom window, like a thing possessed.  Whirr-clunk-clunk-chunk, rattle rattle rattle.  

But you know what made me grind my teeth this morning????

My state's government will have a $63 MILLION surplus in the budget this year.  That's right, I said $63 MILLION.  Yes, I yelled it.  There has been a state-wide freeze on merit raises for state employees for 5+ years.  In fact I'm pretty sure it's more than five. Gee!! I wonder where all that MONEY CAME FROM?????     

Fucking bastards.  I got a load of laundry and a load of dishes done last night.  I actually remembered to bring my lunch today.  I didn't kill my child before she left for school, and SHE didn't miss the bus.  

Pros versus cons anyone?  I'm too busy playing Spider solitaire to make the lists.
mynewplace: (oh canada)
Avast!

Ummm, do you know where I can get some Lycra spandex leopard-print leggings?

Happy birthday [profile] beldar I don't know you very well, but you're certainly welcome to come along for the roller coaster ride that is [personal profile] sapphirescarlet  Feel free to touch the monkeys, and please don't keep your hands inside the car.

Not much to say yet today.  Scarlett is doing quite well at getting off to school, although she drags her feet if I don't walk through the steps with her every day.  That's okay, though.   I don't have to get ready until after she leaves.  In fact, her departure at 6:45 gives me time to get on the computer, check my email and Live Journal, and kinda wake up more.  For some reason that builds my energy level.  Every morning when the alarm goes off I start thinking of ways I can miss work or go in late. By the time I have finished my computer play, I'm ready to face the day. 

Got a new icon, courtesy of [profile] gymorama.  He's my primary "maker" of animated icons nowadays.  I have been hearing new lyrics to songs in my head for several days now.  Just a creative spurt, I guess.  

I've only been taking three pills for the last several days.  For some reason I thought I'd put my blood pressure pills in my bottle where I keep everything.  But I hadn't, and I kept thinking that they weren't supposed to be blue, they were supposed to be white.  I was right, so I found them and took one today.  Hope it helps these nagging headaches when I wake up.

Brent is VERY MUCH looking forward to the weekend.  He's horny and lonely.  I miss him, too.  He's not ready to talk about anything more than what we have now.  I have been bringing it up once in a while, but I can't help it.  I drive by a 3 bedroom house for lease on my street EVERY DAY.  It's $800 a month, and has a basement where he could set up his drum kit.  We could save SO MUCH damned money. And I could leave the roaches behind.  siiiiiiiiiiiiigh

Yes, I'm still having trouble with the damned things.  I've been MUCH more conscientious regarding my kitchen, rinsing dishes before loading them in the dishwasher,  keeping the sink, stove and counters clean with bleach, and spraying roach spray into all the cracks every few days.  The spray is supposed to last six weeks, but after just a few days I start seeing roach poopie on the places where I spray.  I made myself a little sick with it yesterday, and didn't get it off my hands when I washed - so it got on my contacts and I couldn't wear them.  The bitch of it all is I actually saw the first one in the living room this morning.  Of course I sprayed it, made myself a little sick with the spray again, but that's proof to me that the spray isn't doing the job.  Which fucking pisses me off because it takes an act of God to get my landlord to do anything.  Goddammit.  I guess I'll have to move the cats to Brent's one weekend and DEMAND that he hire an exterminator. I don't know what else to do.  I'm sick of things going wrong and him not taking care of them.  I have a list of several things now: the mildew on the laundry room ceiling has been there over a year.  I suspect the carpet in the hall is ruined because it got wet when the ceiling leaked from the washing machine upstairs.  Now the light fixture in the hallway has a short and won't work.  And the fucking roaches, which originally moved in when the girls upstairs moved out.  I did NOT have them before that, dammit.

Okay. I'm going to try to work now.  Everybody in my section is gone for two days, so I'm the ONLY person answering phones.  My boss is sick, too.   It's nice for things to be quiet, but I have a harder time working when he's not here.  All I want to do is play.  I don't have SHIT for games on this damned computer. 

Well, I guess I had more to say than I thought.

Thursday

Aug. 9th, 2007 11:22 am
mynewplace: (Default)
I think I know what's wrong with me today.

That makes me one step closer to a cure, right?

Ha.

I had a crossandwich & tater totties with a diet Coke for breakfast. (of Champions I tell you!)

After sitting here a while I realized there was only one major task facing me this morning. All others seemed to fall away, despite their urgency. I needed to make a phone call that I'd been putting off for several weeks. There is no reason for my reluctance. No punishment if I do or don't dial. No good or bad news forthcoming.

Yet I couldn't bear to pick up the phone. I played solitaire in various forms. I read your journals. I answered your comments, and made comments of my own.

I bought another diet Coke.

I read the news, I watched video broadcasts, I clicked and clicked and clicked.

All the while I've felt like I'm holding myself together under my skin with only my two bare hands. And not succeeding well at that. Almost shivering, completely unable to cope with the thought of the phone call or doing anything else that remotely resembled work.

So I made the phone call. I reported the results in an email to my boss. And I continued to barely hold myself in with my bare hands.

I think I've had too much caffeine.

"Well duh!" you say? Hah. I used to suck it down like water, and require at least four a day just to get home. I'm now down to three because I don't think to drink it as often, and I no longer like the taste. THAT'S WEIRD.

I can't afford to go off caffeine. I'll sleep the entire day. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Wednesday

May. 16th, 2007 10:00 am
mynewplace: (badass)
siiiiiiiiiiiiigh

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070515/lf_nm/books_potter_dc_2

How'm I ever gonna keep my head in the sand long enough to read the damned thing without spoilers?  I am already sad that the series is coming to an end. I get this little empty feeling in my gut when I think about "no more Potter after July".  I still have the movies to look forward to, I know, but the books are SO FAR superior to the movies that it's no consolation.  

My brain is scattering today - ovulation has set in. Am definitely looking forward to my after-work romp.  

I'm trying to get Scarlett's summer calendar together, but can't seem to commit to anything. I'd like to know where I'm going to be living this summer, without that information day care still hangs in the realm of possibility.  Mom is saying she wants to keep Scarlett most the summer,  and that's probably what will have to happen in order for me to afford to move; but I am still convinced that Mom is not up to the task this year.  WIth my cousin Cheryl back home she will be able to help, because her son Joey and Scarlett get along well, and Cheryl doesn't have a job yet.  The kids are at an age where they kinda take care of themselves but mom likes to stick her nose into arguments, plus Joey's 3 years older than Scarlett and sometimes his movies and games are inappropriate for her age level. SOoooooooooooofuckingmuch to think about. How am I ever going to find time to think about work? 

Well, I need to at least try.  I've got to call Courtney today about lunch, better call soon. It's already ten.
mynewplace: (Default)






They are too cute, I can't resist posting this peekchure again. I keep hearing weelittle voices saying "We gonna gitchu!"

Not much to tell today. Went to the retiree's office to pick up some files.  Told Brent he needed to straighten up after a drunken phone call last night which he does not remember. As a result of emailing with him I've come to a new realization - there are times when he needs me to tell him to kiss off and go to bed, and there are times when he's drunk that he needs to hear I love him, despite what he's saying. This is becoming more and more like raising a child.  (a/n:  yep. That's what he needed.)

I wanna do the pic meme that is going around [community profile] fortysomething but I never seem to get around to it. Scarlett's in bed now so I can't take a pic of her room.  I want a picture of my goddess/madonna statue to use as an icon, but keep putting that off too. I love her. 

I took half an Adderall today - 10 mg. It wasn't NEARLY as bad as last week, but I could tell it helped me along. I crashed kinda early, but I still appreciated the boost. I do feel far more tired after I come down off an Adderall.  This will require further experimentation. 

I'm not going to worry about anything else tonight. I hope I can maintain the lack of concern for a few hours tomorrow. I need a break from worry.

Monday

Apr. 30th, 2007 04:39 pm
mynewplace: (buddychrist)
It feels as if I haven't posted, but I think that's just because everyone has been rather quiet lately. A comment here and there, but not many. 

The retirement luncheon went off without a hitch, easy thing to do when you schedule it at Shoneys.  

Will go grocery shopping this evening, after Scarlett's extra dance lesson.  Don't have much cash for groceries right now, but don't know when I'm going to get more, and we're out of almost everything.  I'm pretty sure I can make it stretch. 

Scarlett's letting her room slip again, and I've got to get off my ass and get in there, force her to do some maintenance.  I might look again next week for an apartment, I just don't know.  I'm not sure I'm going to find one in the area I want.  I know when the time is right it will probably "appear" but I'm afraid to trust that intuition since that's what got me in the mess of an apartment  I'm in now.  

Must be getting close to PMS time, because everything seems to be building to a crescendo. 

I wish apartments didn't cost so damned much.  
I wish I had better credit and could afford a house like I want.  

I wish I was a fairy princess. 

Hell, might as well dream big.

Friday

Apr. 20th, 2007 12:41 pm
mynewplace: (cracker)
I might try to come to work for a few hours on Saturday.  I'm supposed to have these maps done by Monday afternoon, and I just don't see how it's going to happen.  Even though I've become familiar with the ARCView program, and I'm making maps left and right of various ponds across the state, I haven't come close to finishing all the counties I need. And it's not even all 55 counties, only the southern 20 or so. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

So anyway, I'm probably going to keep Scarlett home this weekend. Brent isn't playing, so if she and I get the house cleaned up, I might have him over for dinner. He will balk at the idea of being there with Scarlett but I'll tell him to just suck it up and come on.  I'm thinking fresh chicken breasts simmered in white wine, made into a nice creamy sauce with broccoli, and over pasta. He might surprise me and not give me grief, but just come on. I hope so. I think he'd enjoy being around her, and she really needs to be exposed to him more. That was actually just a whim, but is now starting to flesh out as a "plan" in my head.  nod

Well, I'll have to decide between Brent and extra work. That won't be tough, but I really need to get the work done. Maybe I'll just buckle down this afternoon.  

It's almost one, and I have a guy coming in to review a file in about 20 minutes. So I'll wrap this up and potty before he gets here.  

!!!CIRCUS!!!

Wednesday

Apr. 18th, 2007 06:59 pm
mynewplace: (Default)
More insanity at the office, and more tiny fires stomped out by yours truly.  I thought this evening, "I've been here eight years, and we've never had to deal with such a serious problem.  I'm glad, because before now, I might have fucked it up, or had no clue what to do.  instead, as each point of potential crisis arises, I have the proper answer and the proper attitude, and can handle it for everyone else." 

Had dinner with Brent. We talked about work, but it was a relief for both of us, I think.  Sometimes we need to get this shit out.  

Scarlett got out of school early today, so she came home.  She traipsed out to church this evening about 5:30.  Judging by the condition of the house there was not much damage done, so she was fairly well behaved and did what she was asked to do.  I'm relieved. 

I'm going to take a nap until she gets home. I wonder if I'll ever get caught up on rest. I haven't relaxed since the codeine Monday night. Can't remember when I relaxed before that. 

Iz ded

Apr. 16th, 2007 11:30 pm
mynewplace: (boohoo)
It's 11:30.  I should totally be in bed. I took my meds late (I'm still trying to remember to take them regularly) so they haven't completely kicked in yet.  Which means I'll have trouble getting going again in the morning.  This morning I had to stop and think after conditioner before I remembered "body wash".  And there was another time I had to do that, but I can't remember what it was.  It's that bad. 

I worked my ASS OFF today.  Between the dam calls, getting loads of unrelated paperwork signed copied and out, lunch (which snuck up on me) bank, grocery, maps-still-not-done, copy-the-entire-file, move-the-Blazer, "Are you done?" I walked the entire length of the building 10+ times.  It's the length of three football fields. (is it 3? I think it's 3) It's mutherfuckin' big, ok? Am ded. Iz all.Bed. grunt

Monday

Apr. 16th, 2007 08:24 am
mynewplace: (Default)
I didn't want to do today.  None of it.  Spring break always spoils both of us, and summer even moreso. 

Circus this weekend, I have tickets for Friday night's show.  I'm getting excited, haven't said anything to Scarlett yet, but once I do, she'll start getting excited too.

She asked last night if she could have some toys back. I said "Not until you can keep your room straight. Right now you have no place to play." And she agreed she didn't have any room to play. Found stuff behind her bed this morning, so she won't be getting them back today. I am letting her get on the computer now, though. 

Lots of rain this weekend, and I heard on the news this morning that several hundred people were evacuated downstream of one of our dams.  I haven't seen my boss yet, so I don't know if he'll come in, or go straight to the dam.  Clearly he's been out there this weekend, tho; we don't evacuate until the situation is dire.  I'm anxious to hear what's going out there. 
Am not in the best of moods. Haven't been all weekend, but Brent said I wasn't bitchy. I felt like I was. He's so tender with me sometimes, it makes me cry.  It also makes it nigh near impossible to leave him.  That tenderness is what I crave most, you know. 

Scarlett had a good time at her dads, and there was no day care involved. So I am relieved, and very much glad.  

That's all the news that's fit to print, so it's time to make the donuts.  mmmmmmmmmmm donuts............

whoop, here he is, and I'm pullin' files........

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