Christmas Poll

[mynewplace]

Attention please all divorced parents and products of same:

When I was small my mother gave me money at Christmas time to purchase gifts for her and my stepfather.  My mother also gave me the money to buy my father and stepmother presents.  (and gifts for their children) She didn't like doing this but felt it was necessary, despite the fact that my father never gave me a CENT to purchase anything for my mother, or to purchase anything for him, my stepmother, or any of his children.  My father is a stingy selfish bastard. 

So now it's my turn. Granted, I don't have the money to give Scarlett to buy gifts for anyone really, but my mother has once again taken it upon herself to give Scarlett money to buy gifts for HER father and his family. Scarlett has actually saved her own money to buy gifts for me and her grandparents.  I don't like this practice, and neither does my mother.  However, it would make Scarlett VERY sad if she had no gift to give her father for Christmas.  She is very understanding when we tell her that we don't have the money for things, and I know if we told her that in the case of a gift for her father, she would understand. And she would likely repeat it in her own form when she saw him. (which I LOVE by the way.  "Sorry I couldn't get you anything daddy, mommy didn't have enough money. CHILD SUPPORT ANYONE????)

Question is this:  What did your parents/what do you do in this instance?  What has been the norm or common practice within your family?  ALLLL comments are welcome, encouraged even. 

 

Comments

[bulletslc.livejournal.com]

My birthday is November 28th and I usually got money from my parents and grandmother for that.....which I would then turn around and use to buy Christmas presents! Pissed my grandmother off.....she used to always say..."I gave you that money so that you could buy yourself a present!!"LOL! But I ADORE giving presents and that would often mean more to me than getting something for myself (still does, actually!)

Don't know how that helps your situation at all, but that's what I did when I was a sprout!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Brent does this too. I have to admit that would bother me as well, but I'd rectify it buy buying you a gift rather than giving you money. I love to give gifts too.

[bulletslc.livejournal.com]

Grandma was usually pretty terrible about picking out decent presents (think truly awful decorated sweatshirts)....though she DID buy me Stephen Donaldson's "Lord Foul's Bane" one year! Only the most depressing fantasy series I've EVER read in my life....LOL!!!! But this year for my birthday she gave me a postage stamp quilt made by my great-great and great grandmothers.....so I'll take that over cash any day, year, millenium....!!!!!

[amian.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I don't really remember. I think when we were little my mother would buy something minor thing for the grandparents and my dad "from the kids". But when we got older and realized that wasn't really proper gift-giving, I think we were on our own. We made stuff or occasionally got money for one of those el-cheapo "Secret Santa" deals at school.

I also want to mention that I'm really enjoying your cheery holiday pictures on your posts. :)

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I have too many to make them all icons, so I'm making something like stationery instead. And may I say I'm really enjoying your recent posts, they've "inspired" me this afternoon. ;-)

[amian.livejournal.com]

I'm happy I could brighten your afternoon. :)

[retro-rider55.livejournal.com]

I was in my late teens when my folks split - for the first time. This wasn't much of an issue then (my older sisters were long gone by then), just the "being the football" aspect wasn't fun when it came to Where I Was Having Xmas Dinner That Year...

[warkitty.livejournal.com]

Nope, no money. We sent pictures for holidays to Momma and all grandparents (and occasional aunts and uncles) with a card.




Even when we were not allowed to SEE Momma or give her any information on our whereabouts, if WE didn't send 'em, my stepmother would send Momma's family pictures, a Christmas card, and an update on how we were doing.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I like that idea. Found out this evening that my stepdad gave Scarlett a couple of his antique tools to give her dad. I'm glad she didn't have to spend any money. Not sure how well that will go over, but we shall see.

[warkitty.livejournal.com]

Yup, there's a simplicity to it. The school pictures were what we used of course, and the fact that none of us were in the same state kinda made it more important.

[nsingman.livejournal.com]

In my family, growing up, gifts were given from parents to children, and grandparents to grandchildren, and that was it. We didn't give gifts to our parents or grandparents. However, I'm not crazy about the idea of giving someone money to buy someone else a gift unless they ask for the help.

Every family is different, of course.

EDIT: I didn't read carefully enough. I'm neither a divorced parent nor the product of same, so feel free to disregard this.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

NOAH! I wouldn't disregard your opinion for nuthin! I so respect you for the job you and Connie have done with your children. I like the idea of parents to children and that's all.

[skyearthandsea.livejournal.com]

My sister's and I saved our allowance and our lunch money and the money from our birthdays to buy presents for everyone at Christmas. Alot of the time, I ended up helping my sisters, or adding their names to the gifts I gave people. We also made gifts for people, using Mom's huges stash of leftover yarn.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I like that idea, although I also like the idea that gift money is for the recipient to spend on themselves. Scarlett couldn't save a dime if her life depended on it.