Friday

This is an interesting mememememe:  How would you describe me to a perfect stranger? I'll screen comments in case you want to answer.

Am feeling a bit sexually needy these days.  It's been a while. And that's all I have to say about that, Forrest. 

I have salmon at home to cook for dinner. I saw a yummy-looking dill cream sauce recipe this week, but I don't know if I want to try it. I did buy some fresh dill tho - and lots of fresh veggies.  Mushrooms are always on the menu for Brent - they're tasty, easy, and he adores them. Plus they are a great source of potassium for both of us, we've both been known to have leg cramps. I'm looking forward to dinner. 

I'm also looking forward to the weekend. He'll be playing, I think.  Scarlett will be home Saturday morning so I'll go to mom's to help them pack Scarlett's stuff for camp. She goes to camp Sunday morning.  I don't know if I'll get her the following weekend when she comes home. That's the weekend Brent is moving so I'll probably need to go help unpack or something. I don't know.

That is also the weekend of my mother's family reunion.  Mom and I are going to get Scarlett as early as we can Saturday so she can attend. That also means I won't be helping move Saturday morning. I won't be free until early afternoon.  I need to tell him this today if I can remember.  I won't be doing any heavy lifting anyway, so I won't be much use Saturday morning. 

I always enjoy the family reunion. My mom's mother was a Lemon, and we have a lot of fun with that - buying door prizes with lemons on them, making lots of lemon flavored food - and lots of SOUTHERN flavored food - and lots of FOOD.....  We sing and catch up and it's crazy loud. And the BOOBS! You should see the boobs.    

Two busy weekends.  When am I going to rest this stiff neck?  I don't have any idea.

On my lunchtime travels

Schlotzsky's Deli - Funny Name, Serious Sandwich.  Even more serious Thai Chicken Pizza, with shredded carrots and onions and peanut sauce. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Southern Kitchen.  A staple for those who party at bars into the wee hours, open and serving breakfast all night.  The marquee sign says "Serving o_d food for 47 years"  Old food? Odd food? Yeah, I know, Good food, and it really is. If you like southern cooking. Which I do.

Hooters uses Heiners buns. How quaint. 

There are at least three nice restaurants or fast food joints within walking distance from Brent's new apartment. 

Woman in SUV with clever Mickey Mouse tow ball cover. I pull up next to her at the light, and get out of my car.  I knock on the window, noticing she's a lovely slim brunette with scrubs on.  She buzzes the window down and I say "Scuse me, but you should get your blinkers repaired, as neither the front nor the back lights are working.  I'm certain that you, being a medical professional, are aware of how dangerous it is to drive an illegal vehicle. I'm also assuming that you, as a medical professional, are far too intelligent to turn corners and merge in traffic WITHOUT USING YOUR BLINKERS.  Aren'tchoo?"  *insert smirk here, and subtle finger gesture* "Have a good day."

Okay, no, not really. But dammit one a these days, Alice!!!! BAM! Right in the kisser!

And upon my entering the lane approaching the office, idiot number two decides to pull out from behind stopped car waiting to turn and join me in said lane, pulling out quickly enough that he could have struck me if I hadn't sped up. Sans blinker of course, because he goes to the same driving school as bimbette up there, whose trip to the post office was SO urgent she couldn't be bothered to turn on her blinker while riffling through her purse at the stop light. Thank you.

Generosity

Isn't generosity a wonderful personality trait?  Do you have it? Or do you don't? 

I've decided that generosity is a learned behavior that can be acquired if you choose to do so.  Children who experience generosity, mercy and forgiveness from their parents are often generous even at an early age. But to learn the trait requires a forgiving heart and a willingness to perform random acts where there is no return and often no gratitude. 

Why must you have those things? Why can't you just be generous to those whom you love, or who are generous to you?

Because that's not generosity; that's love in the first case, and retribution in the second. 

I have an uncle who was hurt many years ago when his first son was born with brain damage that has caused him to be severely handicapped.  He had two children after that who are quite wonderful. But because of that first hurt and subsequent hurts in his life, he is not capable of forgiveness. His lack of forgiveness has driven a wedge between him and his only daughter which breaks her heart to this day.  Forgiveness is an awesome aspect of generosity for it requires you to be generous with your patience and kindness instead of with material objects or affection.  

The best way I've found to become generous is to practice patience (which does indeed require practice) give people a wide berth and benefit of doubt in traffic, and consider very carefully what I allow to make me angry. Is it going to matter in ten minutes, ten months or ten years? Probably not.  This was hard at first, but learning to do the traffic thing allowed me to learn most of the other things more easily. And talk about calmness! I have become so much more calm since I learned to let people in front of me. You know - most people in your daily life who piss you off are barely aware that you exist.  Even if you are quite aware of the people around you, you don't know their mental or emotional state. It's often impossible to know how your actions affect strangers. And when you remember that you're a stranger to most people you encounter, it kinda puts perspective on their inconsiderate actions.

Brent often comments on my generosity to him.  What he doesn't seem to realize is I'm generous to most everyone, and that's why it's been so easy to be generous to him even during those months when he was an asswipe to me.  He is now quite generous to me as well. it's endearing but I've noticed sometimes it wanes, and that has made me wonder about why. This is where the theory has developed about the requirement of a forgiving heart and random acts. He really needs to calm down and stop taking everything that happens to him as a personal affront. But you can't really TELL someone to do that - it's a decision they must make for themselves and work on inside their own mind.

Isn't my journal the weirdest mix of random nonsense, philosophy, sex and whining?