Thursday

Good day so far, despite a mild headache. It's probably from taking too many pills at once.  No matter - the little bit of Adderall keeps me on my toes. 

Last evening was nice, although we did have a bit of a scuff over something I got in an email.  Someone found a group of my nudes posted on Greatest Journal, and pointed it out to me.  Of course they trashed me, folks always do, but I've gotten to the point where a peons opinion of me is worth nothing, so I ignore it.  However, my knight in shining armour is not so good at the ignoring.  Especially when he's had a few.  He ranted and stomped and INSISTED that I allow him to answer my critics.  I did, and of course they ridiculed him as well.  I'm just glad they haven't travelled over here for anything more than a look at my journal and a subsequent look at his.  We all know what a mess a troll can make if they get their panties in a bunch.  And don't worry Jess, I'm totally cool with you sending that. It's probably hard to believe that I don't care, but I really don't. I don't care what ANYbody else thinks now - I have my admirers, and the one that means the most is the sweetest. 

In other news, I was prompted to show Brent the journal I set up for him because he was nosing through mine last night.  Instead of being offended as he used to, he sighs and agrees with my more harsh assessments of his faults.  Poor thing.  I know it bothers him to read those opinions, but he is very secure in the knowledge that I love him - he often mentions it as one of the reasons he's so protective of me.  I've considered setting up a friends filter and leaving him off it - which makes me laugh maniacally - but I haven't decided yea or nay.  

Ruthie, I put the book in the mail on Monday with Delivery Confirmation tracking, but there's no further information about it yet.  I hope you get it this weekend.  Brent thinks I should get it published as a chapbook, but I don't know if he's prejudiced, or if he's right that it speaks to human emotion on a widespread level.  Most of the pieces were written a couple years ago, so they're kinda hard to find here in my journal.  And of course they're polished since they were originally posted.  Maybe I could just publish it as an e-book.  Maybe I have delusions of grandeur.  

I would kinda like to see some of my essay/flash fiction thingys printed.  Again, I have NO idea how to go about that.  Holly and I need to have several sit-down sessions, maybe in her new house, or at mine. We could discuss it and have a snack and play with the animals. I'd like to see what she's had done to her place - it sounds great.  

Scarlett's coming home tomorrow for a day or two.  She has been at a music camp this week, but she called me at quarter of nine this morning. She didn't go today, she had a tummy ache.  I don't know, it sounds like she just doesn't want to go.  She's kinda homesick, and I miss her.  I need to make a grocery list, so mom can give me some food.  I have very little left to feed Scarlett while she's there, and no grocery money until Monday.  Maaaan, I will be wandering around Kroger and Aldi for HOURS Monday evening.  I'll probably spend $200-300.  My cupboards are THAT bare.  Eep! I'll have to get milk. The kid goes through a gallon in less than a week.  Brent says he's gonna take us to Fazolis this weekend - Scarlett's excited.  Hell, I am too.  mmmmmmmmbreadsticks with loads of garlic butter

I still see the occasional roach when I flip on the light too quickly in the kitchen.  Haven't seen it in a couple days, so it's due to make an appearance.  I've never seen more than two, and I manage to kill most of them, but I KNOW it means there are loads more wherever they're hiding.  I need to find out what to use, and then sprinkle something behind the fridge, and maybe behind the counter, or between the counter and the stove.  Sometimes Mitzi crouches and stares for the longest time under the stove.  Suzi takes one look and high-tails it outta there.  She's such a little coward.  ha  They're both getting kinda used to Brent now, which softens his opinion of them somewhat.  He still says "snakes with fur" on occasion.  But he HAS stopped whistling for them.  I swear I believe Mitzi rolls her eyes when he does that.

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THIS ARTICLE just makes me SO upset.  You know, before Scarlett started taking Adderall, she was one of these children.  Not morbidly obese, but quite overweight.  She was solid, and large from birth on.  I don't believe my parents fed her inappropriately when they cared for her while I was at work, but she was hungry ALL the time.  Even when she was only taking a bottle.  She was ALWAYS active, moving constantly and lifting, pulling, running playing. She got loads of exercise, and while she's a bit more sedentary now, she still dances, swims, swings and plays on jungle gyms and playground equipment when she has the opportunity.  She isn't lazy, unless we're talking about housework or school work.

People just don't understand - most parents don't overfeed their children or give them candy and/or non-nutritious food.  Some children JUST EAT MORE.  My cousin's daughter is an example of that.  While I agree that she is overweight, I KNOW that she eats when she's hungry, and doesn't eat when she's not and she's busy as a bee.  I suspect her grandmother gives her some high-calorie food, but she's only three. Children need fat to develop properly, especially within their brain.  It makes me angry to think some people judge a parent because they give their child whole milk as opposed to skim, especially before age five. 

But still, the stigma is real.  Scarlett didn't suffer TOO much from her peers, because her build was not blatantly "fat".  Most of her life she had a flat tummy, but there was a LOT of meat between her tummy and her back.  She did get to the point in the 6-8 months before the Adderall where she was starting to get a little pot belly and the fat was also accumulating in her chest.  But with the Adderall she dropped those pounds in no time.  And she's developing normally now, although she's still soft and squishy.  

I worry about her weight. And I am trying to teach her better eating habits than I have learned.  But I do encourage her to eat when she's hungry, because she's not hungry so often now.  She's so beautiful.  I don't want her to be "the fat girl".