Wednesday

I've been so busy here at the Desk of SUCK that I feel I've worked a week already.  More busyness today, and the remainder of the week.  I don't really have time to be on LJ, but can't seem to stay away.  

I have pain in so many different places, I can't keep track. Some of it, I suspect, is rebound pain from the codeine - the pain seems to magnify when the drug wears off; some of it is from stress - my teeth and face hurt from clenching my jaws; my knee is bothering me, but I wore a low heel today anyway. (read: stupid)  Didn't have any cough syrup last night, did alright.  Had some this morning, because of the facial pain mostly, but also to make it easier to walk.  It doesn't touch the pain in my knee, but it makes me care less. 

Scarlett's "tea" was last night.  It was very nice. She didn't win her division for the entire county, but she was recognized along with the 5th graders from other schools.  Her father, stepmother, and sisters came, and we were all glad they could get there.  It was a very long drive for them.  Two of my aunts, and a cousin came, as well as my parents.  She was well represented.  Neither her teacher nor her principal came, although there were three students from her school.  I guess they knew ahead of time that she wasn't going to win, and had other things to do.  I'm going to grab the anthology tonight and type up her story here on LJ. For internet posterity.

I could talk about Brent, but we spent the night rehashing some old wounds for him, with some strong admonitions on my part to move on, distract himself until he can let go of his pain, and even some encouragement toward hospitalization. He won't hear of it now that he's sober again, but at least the ideas are getting planted in his mind.  Scott Adams (WHOM I LOVE!)  has mentioned in his blog a theory that people begin to believe something once they've written it down, even if they write down a lie to begin with.  I should give Brent some of that information.  

I think I will. 

Aaahhh, the cough syrup just kicked in.  Now I'm off to conquer the world, or at least West Virginia.

Revamp

I revamped this poem:

Little girl outside

Rustling my trees

Rattling my window

Sobbing against my wall

Like she lost her mama

I open the window

Let her in

And she drapes my hair

With my lace sheers

Caressing my cheek

In gratitude

Cats dance

With the crazy-girl

Chasing her shadow

Cross the ceiling

She rushes down the hall

To the out-door

Leaving spring grass scent behind

Wednesday

More insanity at the office, and more tiny fires stomped out by yours truly.  I thought this evening, "I've been here eight years, and we've never had to deal with such a serious problem.  I'm glad, because before now, I might have fucked it up, or had no clue what to do.  instead, as each point of potential crisis arises, I have the proper answer and the proper attitude, and can handle it for everyone else." 

Had dinner with Brent. We talked about work, but it was a relief for both of us, I think.  Sometimes we need to get this shit out.  

Scarlett got out of school early today, so she came home.  She traipsed out to church this evening about 5:30.  Judging by the condition of the house there was not much damage done, so she was fairly well behaved and did what she was asked to do.  I'm relieved. 

I'm going to take a nap until she gets home. I wonder if I'll ever get caught up on rest. I haven't relaxed since the codeine Monday night. Can't remember when I relaxed before that. 

Finally

My petition for reconsideration of the child support formula was denied.  Jeff doesn't make enough to even include the cost of child support.  Apparently once your income is below a certain point, that's the only number they use.  I'm fucked for child care this summer.  GOT to find a new apartment.