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Tuesday update
Feb. 6th, 2007 12:23 pmUpdate. It's noon, Tuesday, I'm at work.
Scarlett went to school two hours late, will be getting out one hour early. Probably won't go at all tomorrow, as we are expecting snow. This is a bit stressful, but I am dealing well.
The weekend. It was good, we had a great time, I got two rooms cleaned. I began to feel a bit disconnected Sunday afternoon, but we reconnected Sunday evening. Monday morning, they cancelled school so Mom and Scarlett made several phone calls to me trying to figure out what to do with Scarlett. It was a bad time to call. It upset my groove, and I felt very dissatisfied and frustrated afterward. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to Brent about it, so he had no clue and that disconnected us again. Thus I left his house unhappy (he might have picked up a tone of discontent, but not much else) and the rest of my day was spent trying to get back into gear, mentally.
Scarlett and I saw "Night At The Museum" yesterday afternoon, and enjoyed it very much. It's now on our "must buy" list.
I cancelled an appointment I had today for an ultrasound series thingy on my bladder. I just couldn't face catheterization, etc., despite the fact that I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with that particular piece of my machinery. (more discord inside me, sensing a pattern here)
I'm growing disappointed with my drummer. I cannot touch his heart, and despite the good times we have together, there's a huge gap inside me that he's not willing to bridge. He's got too many of his own gaps to deal with. I might stay home next weekend. I don't know. He's drinking more during the week again, and he can't find a reason to stop. It frightens him, and worries him, but he can't bring himself to do anything about it. I walk away most every Sunday ready to leave him behind - feeling as if I've wasted my time. But every week hope springs new and by the time another weekend comes around I'm tense and desperate for some of his attention. (can we say "addict"? Sure we can)I'm craving peace and tranquility, and I don't find it there. More reason to stay home this weekend. I need to be warm and comfortable - two things that are often lacking while I'm there, unless I'm in bed with him, or sitting in front of his chair with my head on his thigh.
EDIT: I also have a nagging cough that comes from deep in my lungs, the occasional gasp, and a low grade fever. I feel like shit.
EDITEDIT:
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
Things just aren't working right now. In my mind or anywhere else. So I'm going to end this entry, before I start typing random words willy nilly.
spork
raisin
envelope
plastic
Too late.
Scarlett went to school two hours late, will be getting out one hour early. Probably won't go at all tomorrow, as we are expecting snow. This is a bit stressful, but I am dealing well.
The weekend. It was good, we had a great time, I got two rooms cleaned. I began to feel a bit disconnected Sunday afternoon, but we reconnected Sunday evening. Monday morning, they cancelled school so Mom and Scarlett made several phone calls to me trying to figure out what to do with Scarlett. It was a bad time to call. It upset my groove, and I felt very dissatisfied and frustrated afterward. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to Brent about it, so he had no clue and that disconnected us again. Thus I left his house unhappy (he might have picked up a tone of discontent, but not much else) and the rest of my day was spent trying to get back into gear, mentally.
Scarlett and I saw "Night At The Museum" yesterday afternoon, and enjoyed it very much. It's now on our "must buy" list.
I cancelled an appointment I had today for an ultrasound series thingy on my bladder. I just couldn't face catheterization, etc., despite the fact that I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with that particular piece of my machinery. (more discord inside me, sensing a pattern here)
I'm growing disappointed with my drummer. I cannot touch his heart, and despite the good times we have together, there's a huge gap inside me that he's not willing to bridge. He's got too many of his own gaps to deal with. I might stay home next weekend. I don't know. He's drinking more during the week again, and he can't find a reason to stop. It frightens him, and worries him, but he can't bring himself to do anything about it. I walk away most every Sunday ready to leave him behind - feeling as if I've wasted my time. But every week hope springs new and by the time another weekend comes around I'm tense and desperate for some of his attention. (can we say "addict"? Sure we can)I'm craving peace and tranquility, and I don't find it there. More reason to stay home this weekend. I need to be warm and comfortable - two things that are often lacking while I'm there, unless I'm in bed with him, or sitting in front of his chair with my head on his thigh.
EDIT: I also have a nagging cough that comes from deep in my lungs, the occasional gasp, and a low grade fever. I feel like shit.
EDITEDIT:
| sugarcoatedbitch911's Daily Virgo Forecast | |
| Quickie: You could fall under the spell of something shiny and new today -- don't buy it. | |
| Overview: Evaluate just what you're getting by sticking by this person's side. Yes, loyalty is a virtue, but when it's wedded to blind stubbornness, it could be causing a lot of easily preventable and unnecessary havoc. | |
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
Things just aren't working right now. In my mind or anywhere else. So I'm going to end this entry, before I start typing random words willy nilly.
spork
raisin
envelope
plastic
Too late.
