Once again

I am feeling the need for hot sweaty sex with, like, a man an'shit. I used to relish this craving because I could often find release if I made a little effort. But that's just not the case any more. Now the need fills me up until I'm angry and short tempered, until the hormone rage gives me a splitting headache. It's breaking my heart to watch this need tear me apart, when just a year or two ago it was newly-discovered and gave me such delight. I've made yet another poor choice, yet looking back I cannot see how any of my other options could have better met my myriad needs.  

Thing is, even if I had options, I probably would reject them. I'm finding myself in yet another situation where I want what I can't have, and I don't want anything else. No, I wouldn't turn DOWN a good fuck, but I wouldn't go out of my way to make the arrangements either. I'm too disconnected from the effort I once put into getting laid, and I'm not willing to have someone over to my house like I used to. Basically, I'm fucked. And not in that nice sweaty way. 





sigh

(no subject)

I am so tired of feeling like an afterthought.