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The countdown of hours begins. Ten hours to fun! I'm facing a long, very tiring day. My nerves have already started in, just general anticipation for the most part.
But there's this secret dread in the back of my mind because I've done something that I needed to do and it could stir him up to call me this weekend. And I'm not going to talk to him, if he does. He said we were better off apart and I'm going to hold him to that, but I had to get something off my chest. I don't care what anybody thinks, it seems very manipulative in my mind and perhaps that's because it IS manipulative, or perhaps its just because I know my real motives. And they're not good and pure and sweet. They're petulant and self-focused and infantile. But I don't care. I DON'T. dammit
Anyway, now I need to focus on work, and hopefully speed the morning by. Pavanne isn't here so lunch will suck, and as shitty as I feel right now, I MIGHT take a couple hours of sick leave. THIS JUST IN: Even tho Pavanne is off, she's coming for lunch! HURRAH! And my cousin Carole just called and confirmed for the movie, so I'm getting psyched and starting to wake up. Hell, I still might take off. I dunno - I'm gonna need a nap.
But there's this secret dread in the back of my mind because I've done something that I needed to do and it could stir him up to call me this weekend. And I'm not going to talk to him, if he does. He said we were better off apart and I'm going to hold him to that, but I had to get something off my chest. I don't care what anybody thinks, it seems very manipulative in my mind and perhaps that's because it IS manipulative, or perhaps its just because I know my real motives. And they're not good and pure and sweet. They're petulant and self-focused and infantile. But I don't care. I DON'T. dammit
Anyway, now I need to focus on work, and hopefully speed the morning by. Pavanne isn't here so lunch will suck, and as shitty as I feel right now, I MIGHT take a couple hours of sick leave. THIS JUST IN: Even tho Pavanne is off, she's coming for lunch! HURRAH! And my cousin Carole just called and confirmed for the movie, so I'm getting psyched and starting to wake up. Hell, I still might take off. I dunno - I'm gonna need a nap.
