meeep

I decided last night not to call that guy back. Despite the fact that I am aching for mind-numbing sex, I want it on my terms. No wishy-washy.

I decided this morning to taste that peppermint schnapps in the freezer. I've had three 'tastes' so far. It's very good.

I got a phone call, from the gentleman I had lunch with yesterday. He asked if I still wanted to see him tomorrow. I couldn't make myself say yes. I don't like taking the 'easy out', but I made a huge confession to him. I am still not emotionally available. Yeah, you guys have known that for a long time. Maybe I have no business going out on dates. Or maybe I just haven't found someone yet who can hold my attention long enough for me to pull my heart back into my chest. So I hung up, and sobbed uncontrollably for a while. Had another drink, and found something on television to make me laugh.

Nice and calm again.

And it's only 10:30 a.m.  I have the whole day ahead of me. I'm trying my damnedest to forget that after the alcohol wears off I get murderously depressed and weepy. forget forget forget!

 

Domesticated

Grease-covered hands
A smudge on his cheek
Distributor cap by his side.
Rock and roll has dulled his ears 
But a Hog roars half a mile away
And he goes "on point"
Sky-blue eyes scan the highway
A crooked smile slips his glasses
He's lost in thought, until
A squeal of delight
As grass tickles chubby feet.
A crow of triumph
As another clover leaves the earth.
Eyes that mirror his own
Shine up at him
A gummy grin reveals another tooth
This lone wolf has been
Love-domesticated
By twenty pounds of giggle.