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Stress seems to be creating a physical hunger in my body in reaction to emotional and mental issues I'm experiencing.
I craved sugar all weekend and ate ridiculous amounts of the stuff. FAAR more than I would normally choose to eat - normally I am not interested in sugary snacks or foods. I've also been craving fat and orally satisfying foods, such as cheese. I broke down and cried while telling Brent that I didn't even want the cheese ball I was eating, but I felt as if I was trying to take in as much pleasure as possible in a very short period of time - as if I was up against some sort of deadline. I was, I think - the deadline of picking up Scarlett, dealing with daily meals and routines and getting through yet another week with no money and no hope of getting any. Gas prices are eating me alive.
Holding Scarlett in my arms while sitting on the sofa watching television helped a great deal last night. I had trouble going to bed, but no trouble getting up. I had to move to the sofa again last night, my entire left side was sore and tense from lying wrong. I wasn't lying any differently, my bed just doesn't seem to fit me any more.
I ate ten ounces of lettuce and radiccio, and a bell pepper with dressing for lunch. I had to fix myself a bag of popcorn, because after I ate my salad my stomach felt empty and my head felt light. I'm accustomed to having protein at lunch. I'm thinking a pork stir fry at home tonight. Hope Scarlett will eat it. If I get her to help me fix it with stuff she likes, she might be more inclined.
I wanna go home.
I craved sugar all weekend and ate ridiculous amounts of the stuff. FAAR more than I would normally choose to eat - normally I am not interested in sugary snacks or foods. I've also been craving fat and orally satisfying foods, such as cheese. I broke down and cried while telling Brent that I didn't even want the cheese ball I was eating, but I felt as if I was trying to take in as much pleasure as possible in a very short period of time - as if I was up against some sort of deadline. I was, I think - the deadline of picking up Scarlett, dealing with daily meals and routines and getting through yet another week with no money and no hope of getting any. Gas prices are eating me alive.
Holding Scarlett in my arms while sitting on the sofa watching television helped a great deal last night. I had trouble going to bed, but no trouble getting up. I had to move to the sofa again last night, my entire left side was sore and tense from lying wrong. I wasn't lying any differently, my bed just doesn't seem to fit me any more.
I ate ten ounces of lettuce and radiccio, and a bell pepper with dressing for lunch. I had to fix myself a bag of popcorn, because after I ate my salad my stomach felt empty and my head felt light. I'm accustomed to having protein at lunch. I'm thinking a pork stir fry at home tonight. Hope Scarlett will eat it. If I get her to help me fix it with stuff she likes, she might be more inclined.
I wanna go home.
