Monday

I fought some pretty severe back pain every morning this weekend, and this morning was worse.  Once it gets this debilitating, I stay home for a day and try to deal with it in some way other than lying around. 

Today it's a mixture of half an adderall and half a lortab. I did have to lay down again after I took them, but now I'm feeling pretty damned good. Slight headache, but able to move and by god I'm not going to waste it sitting in this fucking chair. This house is a goddamned wreck.

But before I go, a funny:

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month. 

Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.  When it came time for Dick and Jane Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Jane wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over. 

A few days before the big event, Jane got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive"  He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."   She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison."  He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."

After thinking about this, Jane decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some.  She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.  Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Jane watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Jane even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class.  

After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit. About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Jane's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died." 

With this news, Jane went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.  

The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep  them all there and keep them calm." 

It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.  When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. 

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."  

They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!! 

Monday

The REAL update.   I got an email from my mom's best friend, and here's the answer I sent her.  It sums up my weekend pretty well, I think. 

Things here are going pretty well. Floyd dragged mom to Randolph County this past weekend, so Mother's Day was spent at the Marriott Brunch with my Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sharon, and their crew. There were 18 of us, it was very much fun, and of course fancy as only the Marriott can do it. Great food, and greater company. Aunt Sharon's sister Marilyn is a grandma now! Baby Dallas was there with his mommy and daddy. He's cute of course, only two months old so he's a standard-issue baby right now.

Scarlett and I had a picnic at the lake in Nitro with "the fellow" Saturday, it was very nice too. Yummy hot dogs and my yummy chili, which is a lot like my mom's yummy chili. I learned a lot from you two great cooks! Brent loves my cooking, and even brags on it to his mom, who is the "best cook in the world". I wouldn't have much respect for him if he didn't love his mom's cooking best - his devotion to her is really awesome. And the fact that he brags on me to her says a lot about how he feels about me - even when he's too stubborn to say it. Carole and Autumn came to the park for about an hour. Autumn fell while she and Scarlett were walking to the picnic table, and she ended up with a broken wrist. It was a very clean break that didn't need to be set, just put in a cast. She's such a good little girl.

I'm at home today cleaning. My back has been hurting very bad this weekend, I probably did too much - so I snuck half a Lortab from mom and stayed home to nurse it. Now that I've got some pain meds in me, I'm able to get around great and I'm getting laundry and dishes done and Scarlett's crap picked up and just moving around like I'm 30 years old. Boy those were the days.

I am going to try and take a 4 day weekend and head down there this summer. Scarlett has so MUCH planned, I'll have mom pencil in a weekend after she gets out of school.  Jeff and I are working things out pretty well, hoepfully I won't have to put her in day care too much this summer.  He got his child support payment reduced to just $125 a month, and that will pay for ONE WEEK of summer day care and two gallons of milk. (or one gallon of gas!)  I could pinch his fool head off, but I'm not taking it out on him. Aintcha proud of me? You should be.  I make Brent hold me while I cry on the weekends, so I don't take it out on much of anybody. He does come in handy for that, even if he won't agree to meet my mom or call me his girlfriend.  Love sure is complicated when you get past 40.

(no subject)

See squee-worthy bebehs here: http://anita-margarita.livejournal.com/

I am 98% certain that I am not going to find an apartment that will hold me and my kid without bankrupting me. Thus I did today what might have been a crazy thing.  I went to a mobile home dealer and completed a credit application.  After I have or have not been approved, we will discuss purchasing a singlewide mobile home.  They've found a piece of property for me, but after looking up its location in my city street guide, I'm fairly certain a mobile home will not be tolerated on that property.  Thus, we'll have to find a park. 

Long range plan is to pay on this a few years, then trade up after credit rating is inexplicably improved. Inexplicably, you say? Yes, for despite my tendency to make payments when they are due on large purchases, I have difficulty maintaining the "little things".  I just am not to do da money so good.

I will require assistance from my mother & stepfather to make the downpayment. This assistance may not be available, it's highly possible that they simply won't have it. They may be able to borrow it, but I am not sure how that will go over.  Also, they will not want me to buy a mobile home without first talking with my sister, who purchases repo'ed trailers. Thing is, I have to have bank pre-approval before I can purchase anything, and that's not easy to get. My credit union won't even talk about mobile homes, OR pre-fabs. I must go with the bank that the mfr uses or recommends. 

This is hugely scary for me. Even having my name out there on an application is more than my credit report can withstand right now.  But this rent is also more than my paychecks can withstand. What do I do? 

If all things are denied, and I must resume the apartment search - it's VERY likely I will have to find homes for my cats.  It's that bad, and I don't have much hope that finding homes for them will be possible.