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Mornin' ya'll. October dragged it's ass, and this weekend was slow as molasses. Spent some time with Myria yesterday which was a welcome change from sittin' on my ass at home. If either one of us had had any money, that flea market wouldn't have known what hit it. As it was, we barely made a dent.
Saturday was miserable, I guess I won't go into it. No point rehashing too much silence. Gave me too much time to scratch my neck and wish the rash would go away.
I'm getting that build up of tension again, like I'm waiting for something to happen. What I'm waiting for is my life to come, or change in some monumental fashion. As the tension builds I become more and more snippy with the people in my life until I finally have a blow-up or get some physical contact. That's the only thing that seems to make it go away.
This pattern really is NOT working for me, but every attempt to change it fails. Miserably. Which sets my mind in motion toward changing my life, my inability to change my life, the reasons behind that inability, and then it boils down to money. Always money. No child support yet again, that's two months without. I was not aware how heavily I was leaning on that money to make it from pay day to pay day. Scarlett's dance fees will be due this week, and I can pay it if I put off getting the oil changed another week or two. It's already 5,000 miles over due.
I'm not very good at prioritizing.
Saturday was miserable, I guess I won't go into it. No point rehashing too much silence. Gave me too much time to scratch my neck and wish the rash would go away.
I'm getting that build up of tension again, like I'm waiting for something to happen. What I'm waiting for is my life to come, or change in some monumental fashion. As the tension builds I become more and more snippy with the people in my life until I finally have a blow-up or get some physical contact. That's the only thing that seems to make it go away.
This pattern really is NOT working for me, but every attempt to change it fails. Miserably. Which sets my mind in motion toward changing my life, my inability to change my life, the reasons behind that inability, and then it boils down to money. Always money. No child support yet again, that's two months without. I was not aware how heavily I was leaning on that money to make it from pay day to pay day. Scarlett's dance fees will be due this week, and I can pay it if I put off getting the oil changed another week or two. It's already 5,000 miles over due.
I'm not very good at prioritizing.
