Ooops, I did it again....

I received a picture in my email today. I've seen pictures of this guy before, but this one was different. It was candid, a bit off guard, and I felt my heart sinking to its knees as I enlarged it to get a better look. The fullness of his cheek, the curve of his lip, something indefinable in his eyes made me want to cry. I've been friends with him for a while now. Oh, its only been a few months, but we all know how quickly a friendship can grow in email; you say more than you ever would in person, you see inside a person more, and you show them your heart more, if you're honest at all with them.

As usual for me in these cases, he's married. So of course I'll try to restrain myself because I certainly don't need to be put in my place again, no matter how gently. He's always been optimistic "You never know what could happen down the road, you never know how things could work out" But that's a Pollyanna attitude that I don't share. I know perfectly well how things will work out, because at some point I will be overwhelmed with the desire to force him out of my life, to drive him away because I can't have him. I can be friends with a married man, until I start to want him for myself. Until I start to want him for my daughter. Then all hell breaks loose. I become evil incarnate as I use every power I possess to drive him out of my life and do my damnedest to make him hurt a little bit in the process. My FWB is lucky I've never felt this way about him. Poor man, I don't envy him. I wouldn't want to deal with me when I'm like this.

(no subject)

Cuz I've answered this for the_turtle_girl , panama777 and pyrcedgrrl

Why am I on your friends list?

Comment and tell me. then post this in your journal.