I'm alive. I don't have any faith that I will be able to say all I want in the 20 minutes left here at the office. I haven't typed in so long that my error ratio has been HORRENDOUS today. My hands are going to sleep all the time, this year might be the year of carpal tunnel, much as last year was the year of blood pressure.
Still internet-less at home, will be for at least another payday or two. Don't care, except that I MISS YOU PEOPLE! OMG I miss you so much! I've gone to several journals to catch up, but haven't hit everyone yet. I will do better next week because my boss will be out of town four days.
I recieved a stunning tennis bracelet with a heart shaped charm on the latch for Christmas from Brent. The charm has a tiny ruby set in it, and I love it very muchly. I know I'd implied I was expecting jewelry of another sort. But he is not ready for that. I am quite confused right now, I might not be ready either. Time will tell.
I have a new cat at my house. She doesn't have a name yet, won't answer to ANYthing, and is a bossy little bitch. I think I'm going to call her Goldie, she has wonderful gold highlights in her fur. She is marked like a bobcat or some sort of wild cat. And she's pregnant. Should drop her kitten-load in a week or so. That's another wait and see situation - Leigh says she has home for at least 3 kittens (I think) and I'm sure we won't have trouble placing any of them. However, I can't keep 3 adult cats. So there will be some home-finding later, probably in March or so.
I've drawn a blank. I'm so overwhelmed with information, and so aggravated that my fingers are numb, that I can't think of anything else left to say. So I will return to reading your journals and trying to catch up on my email. I had 138 emails in my Yahoo account this afternoon, and 104 at work. I love being missed!!
The bad part of this: today will likely be my last day online until I return to work. My cable and internet is off at the house and I don't know that I'll be able to afford turning it back on until after I get paid on the 28th. Maybe not even then. I've got one or two more Christmas presents to buy and then I'm done. I'm looking forward to dinner with Brent and his mother's family tomorrow. I am starting to relax as the season is winding down, once the gifts are purchased the rest is a breeze. I'll be wrapping this weekend, and I enjoy doing that.
Christmas cards are going out, and a I have a few more books to send. The last gift I ordered Brent online has not yet arrived, which is frustrating. I also have to remind myself to send in my PBS pledge so I can get the gift from THAT, possibly in time for Valentine's Day.
Suzi has been the surprise Christmas tree bandit. She's pulled off two ornaments so far but she is content to bat them around on the carpet so nothing's broken. Scarlett broke four of them just putting them on. A good lesson for her in being careful. Mitzi - whom I worried about - has only taken one. However, she showed a lot of brain power in that abscondment and ended up with a broken toy. Little smartie paws pulled the ornament off the tree, carried it DIRECTLY to the entry way and dropped it there by the door. The floor there is linoleum and thus toys make more noise when they are batted about. She was surprised when the ball shattered on contact! Looking back it's funny - that night it was just one more glass mess to clean up. siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
So happy ChrisKwannukahYule to each and every one of you. I'll miss you all! Those of you with my phone number had BETTER call me at some point, dangit. And if I get anything earth-shattering for Christmas, I'll FIND a computer and post about it. I swear.
He's so awesome.
So here's the watch, it only needed a battery, the jeweler said it looked great inside, very clean. It's gold plated, and (as I mentioned) Swiss made. It fits just the slightest bit snug, but it's comfortable. I like it very much. Brent came into the jewelry store with me, and we actually looked at various jewelry. Even wedding bands for him. And he didn't freak out. I was so amazed.
I had a hard time taking this pic, took about 6-8 takes. The pic was always blurry, or had a glare, so this is the best of the bunch.
Of course while I was taking the pictures, Mitzi was all "up in my grill" wondering what I was doing, sniffing the watch, begging for rubs. So I took some pics of her, and then Suzi. They are such sweeties. I'll be so glad when I can have all my peeps in one place, Brent, Scarlett and the kittie-girls. They deserve better attention.
Then I caught these poses:
The second one in the window is so poignant! So I looked up
"poignant quotes" and found this from James Thurber. I'm gonna
post it in Cat Macros.
I know. I'm a mush. I like it that way.
So there's this kitten here at the office today, looking for a home. He's a creamsicle, two pounds of love and fury, who can't be around other cats. Cause he beats them up. OMG he's sweet! Well, he was until I played too much and he started beating ME up. Which I don't really mind, cause I think it's cute and fun when they grab you and thump their little bunny backfeet on your arm. Anyway, I'm coughing my head off, and my throat is uberitchy. *snort*
I am in possession of a PS2 today. It's in the car. Scarlett has had a stomach ache since last night, so she stayed at mom's today instead of going to school. I hated it, since they had so much trouble with her before, but I gave her several admonishments about misbehaving "If mawmaw calls me EVEN ONCE there will be NO MORE PS2 this week. Comprende? Capice? Comprendez-vous?" Yes, she comprende, as she stared at the t.v. screen. So I made her repeat my orders, until she got them right. She was briefly pissed about me taking the PS2, but fuck that. There will be no mindless gaming all day without eating. Dammit. Granted, she will compensate with mindless television, but when mom gets home from work I'll tell her to turn it off for the rest of the day. I've also given Scarlett homework, a worksheet she failed and forgot to have me sign, and a list of vocabulary words. There are a few on there that I don't even recognize, so I'm looking forward to learning the definitions of those.
My hands are itching from the kitten claws. I gotta find an alcohol swab. There is NO antibiotic ointment in this building.
1. Who did you think you would marry in elementary school?
Mike Grimm. He was my dream man.
2. Which muppet is your favorite? Why?
Kermie. He's the great all-around guy.
3. Which politician would you most like to screw? [For pleasure or revenge]
Bill Clinton. For pleasure.
4. How did you first find the g-spot?
I experienced it without knowing precisely what it was from the beginning of sex, at age 15. I'm not sure when I realized what it was.
5. What is the best costume you've ever worn?
Right after I had my breast reduction I dressed up as a can-can girl for Halloween. I didn't need a bra for the costume and it was a real thrill!
Otherwise - my extra icons subscription has expired - but that's okay. I don't really mind, I earn some every once in a while, and I've saved all the ones I deleted. I'll probably upgrade again sometime in the future.
No air conditioning yet, as far as I know. And no communication from my landlord, which isn't surprising. I too avoid making phone calls when I know the person answering will be a bitch. I am keeping track of my gas purchases, mileage, and the $16.6666 I pay for every day's rent. If he starts trying to charge me full price again "because the mold has been fixed" I will raise SO MUCH HELL. Brent wants me to look for another apartment. I want to as well, but good lord. It was so damned hard this summer I finally gave up. There's virtually no place that will allow pets any more. And I still want to stay within Scarlett's school district, an issue which Brent doesn't fully understand.
The cat's are at mom's today. They've been hidden under various furniture since we arrived, coming out when they see me, and clinging to my legs. They glance up warily at the ceiling if a fan is on. Poor nervous little things. Suzi is biting Mitzi's head off if she comes near, so they don't even have each other for comfort. I need to call about them.
I also need to do some work. Dammit.
I appreciate all the LOVELY Happy Birthdays yesterday - thank you all so MUCH! It's amazing what a little self promotion can garner.
I saw this on caturday, couldn't resist:
Read this on overheardnyc:
Five-year-old Korean boy with accent: Mommy, I fart! [Mom is silent.] Mommy, I fart! Did you hear it?
Korean mom, also with accent: I pretty sure everyone hear it.
From my brilliant child:
As I'm drying her arm I spot an ink line across her wrist. I rub more vigorously and comment that she didn't wash very well, because there's still pen here.
She looks, and says "No mommy! That's not pen! Those are my... my... testicles!"
Oh yes she did.
Not that it makes the story any better, but we did get the vocabulary mix-up straightened out. It was indeed ink, and not a blood vessel. And for the record? Testicles are "eww!"
And I am unique and wonderful.. My birthday card from my boyfriend says so. So there.
First photo - the latest damage I found upon arriving home Thursday night. I didn't have room to post pics of the bread crumbs all over the living room and dining room floor.
Second photo - you'll never convince me cats have no emotion. That is smug superiority on Suzis face, no question about it. She KNOWS she didn't do it, and she knows I KNOW.
I salvaged five pieces of that bread from the center of the loaf. When I got home Sunday, the last three were also scattered in the dining room. Mitzi isn't eating much of the bread, and she isn't doing this because her bowl is empty. Because it's NOT. She's doing it because she's pissed at being left home alone, because it's FOOD and by god if there's FOOD she will have said FOOD, and also because she is a cat. She must know all, and anything she doesn't know must be thoroughly investigated.
Sharp pain in my right TMJ all night, don't know where that came from, but my god it was a bitch. Abdominal pain, know where that came from, no less a bitch. Feel like shit, so I decided to stay home today. I have more gas in my car, so I let Brent take it, and he locked me in as he left. I felt so safe and secure. And unable to travel, as I do not have his key to his rental nor do I now have a key to my own home.
Thus I am locked in, like the princess in the tower.
First full surly gurly day, so I'm glad I'm staying home. The first two are usually the worst. I'm going to have to turn on the t.v. or some music, because the idiot upstairs has ONCE AGAIN left his alarm clock on and forgotten to come home. He must be getting LOTS of pootang, because he never seems to sleep here. The only reason I notice is because that damned clock starts going off and no one is there to stop it.
I'm going to do laundry today, and another load of dishes. And I'm going to eat, dammit. Poor Brent took sandwiches for lunch. I didn't cook last night, I wasn't up to it, and I am running out of groceries again. Eating is expensive.
The cats are fighting something fierce. It's weird. Although they are approximately the same size, I know that Suzi, the long haired one, eats less than Mitzi. She will actually step back from a full bowl if she thinks Mitzi might want the food. It's driving Brent nuts because of his sense of justice. Mitzi gets more, and that's how Suzi appears to want it. I don't know if their tussles are over food or house dominance or just exercise. But Mitzi was actually huffing during this last fight. It's no wonder that the vets said Suzi was six months younger than Mitzi. She must not be developing as quickly since she's not eating as much.
Good day so far, despite a mild headache. It's probably from taking too many pills at once. No matter - the little bit of Adderall keeps me on my toes.
Last evening was nice, although we did have a bit of a scuff over something I got in an email. Someone found a group of my nudes posted on Greatest Journal, and pointed it out to me. Of course they trashed me, folks always do, but I've gotten to the point where a peons opinion of me is worth nothing, so I ignore it. However, my knight in shining armour is not so good at the ignoring. Especially when he's had a few. He ranted and stomped and INSISTED that I allow him to answer my critics. I did, and of course they ridiculed him as well. I'm just glad they haven't travelled over here for anything more than a look at my journal and a subsequent look at his. We all know what a mess a troll can make if they get their panties in a bunch. And don't worry Jess, I'm totally cool with you sending that. It's probably hard to believe that I don't care, but I really don't. I don't care what ANYbody else thinks now - I have my admirers, and the one that means the most is the sweetest.
In other news, I was prompted to show Brent the journal I set up for him because he was nosing through mine last night. Instead of being offended as he used to, he sighs and agrees with my more harsh assessments of his faults. Poor thing. I know it bothers him to read those opinions, but he is very secure in the knowledge that I love him - he often mentions it as one of the reasons he's so protective of me. I've considered setting up a friends filter and leaving him off it - which makes me laugh maniacally - but I haven't decided yea or nay.
Ruthie, I put the book in the mail on Monday with Delivery Confirmation tracking, but there's no further information about it yet. I hope you get it this weekend. Brent thinks I should get it published as a chapbook, but I don't know if he's prejudiced, or if he's right that it speaks to human emotion on a widespread level. Most of the pieces were written a couple years ago, so they're kinda hard to find here in my journal. And of course they're polished since they were originally posted. Maybe I could just publish it as an e-book. Maybe I have delusions of grandeur.
I would kinda like to see some of my essay/flash fiction thingys printed. Again, I have NO idea how to go about that. Holly and I need to have several sit-down sessions, maybe in her new house, or at mine. We could discuss it and have a snack and play with the animals. I'd like to see what she's had done to her place - it sounds great.
Scarlett's coming home tomorrow for a day or two. She has been at a music camp this week, but she called me at quarter of nine this morning. She didn't go today, she had a tummy ache. I don't know, it sounds like she just doesn't want to go. She's kinda homesick, and I miss her. I need to make a grocery list, so mom can give me some food. I have very little left to feed Scarlett while she's there, and no grocery money until Monday. Maaaan, I will be wandering around Kroger and Aldi for HOURS Monday evening. I'll probably spend $200-300. My cupboards are THAT bare. Eep! I'll have to get milk. The kid goes through a gallon in less than a week. Brent says he's gonna take us to Fazolis this weekend - Scarlett's excited. Hell, I am too. mmmmmmmmbreadsticks with loads of garlic butter
I still see the occasional roach when I flip on the light too quickly in the kitchen. Haven't seen it in a couple days, so it's due to make an appearance. I've never seen more than two, and I manage to kill most of them, but I KNOW it means there are loads more wherever they're hiding. I need to find out what to use, and then sprinkle something behind the fridge, and maybe behind the counter, or between the counter and the stove. Sometimes Mitzi crouches and stares for the longest time under the stove. Suzi takes one look and high-tails it outta there. She's such a little coward. ha They're both getting kinda used to Brent now, which softens his opinion of them somewhat. He still says "snakes with fur" on occasion. But he HAS stopped whistling for them. I swear I believe Mitzi rolls her eyes when he does that.
GOOOOOOD weekend. Yummy dinner, yummy attention, delightful conversation involving "moved beyond her" and "missed you SO much" and "give me time". VERY happy sighing today.
In other news, found more green plastic in the litter box. Also found a full-sized complaint lodged directly OUTSIDE the litter box. I mean big-ol' pile o'shit. But the box is cleaned, the floor is Cloroxed, and the box is repositioned so the poopoo smell won't tempt a kitty to repeat THAT cute trick.
Found the ex girlfriend's MySpace, as well as the ex-girlfriend's current live-in "Mr. Wonderful" (NOT!) & am not impressed. Am quite relieved to find she looks more like me than I ever thought. Build-wise more than face wise, although there are similarities. Am also vain enough to be relieved that I'm prettier. In my own humble opinion anyway.
Have taken four half-Lortabs in the last three days. None needed yet today. Must get my own prescription filled to see how well they're going to work at the strength my Doc prescribed. Am still getting up at 5:30-ish, and waking too often in the night. However, slept much better with my back against Brent's. Also need to call my psych and ask if what I'm taking could raise my blood pressure. (TO 150/104 OMG!!) We're going to look at another apartment tonight after work. IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD! HUZZAH!
And that's all for now.
when tinsel comes out of the cat's butt.
Found a long piece of green plastic on the floor yesterday. Don't know where it came from, looked like Easter grass, but it obviously wasn't.
So I threw it away. Mistakenly threw it in the bathroom trashcan, which has no lid.
Mitzi will eat ANYTHING.
So this morning I'm makin' icons and Mitzi comes slinkin' out of the kitty bathroom. Then she starts this dance, like she's lost her faculties. I thought she was chasing a bug at first, but she just wouldn't stop! Four steps to the left, chasing her tail. Then four steps to the right, chasing her tail. But her tail was high in the air, and somehow, I knew it wasn't her tail she was chasing. Still thought it was a bug, but turned the light on so she could see what she was doing.
And there it was. Loooooooooooong green plastic, hangin' outta her butt. I got it, but it broke, and by the time I'd washed my hands TWICE, she was doin' the dance again. I got some toilet paper this time, and pulled out two more pieces, much to her disgust and frustration. She HATES being held down, of course.
Nastiest shit on the planet. Smells like chicken salad. (guilty of that indulgence)
I am 98% certain that I am not going to find an apartment that will hold me and my kid without bankrupting me. Thus I did today what might have been a crazy thing. I went to a mobile home dealer and completed a credit application. After I have or have not been approved, we will discuss purchasing a singlewide mobile home. They've found a piece of property for me, but after looking up its location in my city street guide, I'm fairly certain a mobile home will not be tolerated on that property. Thus, we'll have to find a park.
Long range plan is to pay on this a few years, then trade up after credit rating is inexplicably improved. Inexplicably, you say? Yes, for despite my tendency to make payments when they are due on large purchases, I have difficulty maintaining the "little things". I just am not to do da money so good.
I will require assistance from my mother & stepfather to make the downpayment. This assistance may not be available, it's highly possible that they simply won't have it. They may be able to borrow it, but I am not sure how that will go over. Also, they will not want me to buy a mobile home without first talking with my sister, who purchases repo'ed trailers. Thing is, I have to have bank pre-approval before I can purchase anything, and that's not easy to get. My credit union won't even talk about mobile homes, OR pre-fabs. I must go with the bank that the mfr uses or recommends.
This is hugely scary for me. Even having my name out there on an application is more than my credit report can withstand right now. But this rent is also more than my paychecks can withstand. What do I do?
If all things are denied, and I must resume the apartment search - it's VERY likely I will have to find homes for my cats. It's that bad, and I don't have much hope that finding homes for them will be possible.
By next week I expect to see them grooming one another again, or at least sleeping together.
She's limping, but she is using it. She's also not eating much, and
still hiding a lot, but at least I know why now. I can't take her to
the vet until maybe Saturday and it's driving me nuts because she needs
to go before that. I don't want to let her go without eating. If I
could find her hiding place I'd go home at lunch and give her a dose of
pain medicine. But I don't know where she's going.
I can tell already this is not going to be a very productive day. Maybe
I can get my time sheet done for April.
They are too cute, I can't resist posting this peekchure again. I keep hearing weelittle voices saying "We gonna gitchu!"
Not much to tell today. Went to the retiree's office to pick up some files. Told Brent he needed to straighten up after a drunken phone call last night which he does not remember. As a result of emailing with him I've come to a new realization - there are times when he needs me to tell him to kiss off and go to bed, and there are times when he's drunk that he needs to hear I love him, despite what he's saying. This is becoming more and more like raising a child. (a/n: yep. That's what he needed.)
I wanna do the pic meme that is going around fortysomething but I never seem to get around to it. Scarlett's in bed now so I can't take a pic of her room. I want a picture of my goddess/madonna statue to use as an icon, but keep putting that off too. I love her.
I took half an Adderall today - 10 mg. It wasn't NEARLY as bad as last week, but I could tell it helped me along. I crashed kinda early, but I still appreciated the boost. I do feel far more tired after I come down off an Adderall. This will require further experimentation.
I'm not going to worry about anything else tonight. I hope I can maintain the lack of concern for a few hours tomorrow. I need a break from worry.
I spent several hours with the cats yesterday to monitor their recovery. When I got home Saturday morning I checked both their tummies, and they had both pulled out every single stitch. Two days. That's all they lasted. But their incisions remain sealed, and their tummies aren't quite as hot today as they were yesterday. They each have a knot at the base of their incisions, and they're both still squeaky when I touch their shaved area. (Of course I'm not hurting them, just examining them.) I'll have to take them back probably next Saturday to get another ear mite treatment, and let the vet look at them. Both cats have also been hissing and growling at one another the entire they've been home. THAT hadn't changed when I got home this morning. However, now I can't find Suzi. She won't answer me when I call, she's not in any of the normal hiding places, I'm so frustrated I could scream.
Gotta go start some laundry. And see if I can't find something else to eat. I wish I'd brought my leftovers from dinner last night. I had the tilapia at Logans, it was very good, and there was a lot left. But I left it at Brent's, and he's at that wedding this afternoon.
Oh, by the way. The dinner with his friends went very well. I'm anxious to hear what they say to him, and a bit doubtful that he'll tell me EVERYthing. That's mostly because I think they like me very well (the feeling is QUITE mutual) and it's probaby going to freak him out a bit. Maybe not. It's hard to guess these days.
My head hurts. I fucking hate this, and I'm ready to quit having female organs.