mynewplace: (bacon!)








For all my pork-lovin' friends!
mynewplace: (genius)
What redeeming value is found in the song "Muskrat Love?"  Discuss among yourselves.
mynewplace: (Bitch!)

Have been without intarwebs since dunno when.  LOOOOOOOONG weekend with Scarlett, but we made it and even got a few chores done. Fixed dinner with asparagus (from the Greek, asparagos. Thank you Junior Asparagus.) 

We watched the gubenatorial debates at Brent's house last night, in which the poor Republican contender Russ Weeks stammered and blundered while Smoothy McSmootherton smirked and made direct eye contact with the camera (and all us folks out there in t.v. land) in an honest and disarming  fashion.  Honest? Manchin? Honor among Mafia maybe. I hate him.  I hate what he's done to State Employees, and I fear what he will continue to do when he is re-elected, which he certainly will be, and not just because he has $2Mil in his re-election treasury, and not just cause poor Russ has only has $2000. We will never crawl out from under the domination of Coal-fed Democrats. Never.  Manchin has said his goal is to eliminate the State Employee network altogether.  I don't know what that means, but it scares me. 

Then Scarlett and I went home and watched a Veggie Tales movie and sang along with all the songs at the top of our lungs. I do love me some Veggie Tales, I tell u whut.  I need to find out if there's a Veggie Tales community here on LJ.  I need a Larry-Go-Round icon.

Made some vegetable soup, but didn't have any cabbage or potatoes.  Won't miss the potatoes so much, but cabbage gives a tangy flavor that is lacking in this batch.  Still, it should fill our bellies until payday. 

I hope to buy Scarlett her Halloween costume this weekend after payday.  This will likely be her last year, and she wants to be a midnight fairy from KMart.  So I will search and find it.  Also this weekend Brent has acquired free tickets to the Symphony, wheee!  I haven't been in years, and sure could use a chance to wear some of my nicer clothing.  Barry Douglas will be the featured soloist.  I love piano!

So I am officially Linky McLinkerson today.  I quit at about page five of my friend's list, but I think I hit almost everything I've missed this weekend.  Ya'll point me in the direction of Albuquerque to any posts you'd like me to check out.  Dammit, now I'll have the freakin' Partridge Family in my head all morning.  Oh well, it's better than The Brady Bunch.
mynewplace: (wildchild)

I'm quoting my friend Karen here at work, because she heard the fight first hand:

"Zoe and Scarlett's fight was funny in that it sounded like 2 therapists having a tiff.  
Zoe said, "I feel like you might be lying to me, you've lied to me before."  
Scarlett shot back with a "Sometimes I lie for attention!"    

Sadly my agruments at that age were: did too, did not."




Poetry

Jun. 25th, 2008 02:38 pm
mynewplace: (jake ooh!)
 Two lines from a song made me pick up my pen:

Boyfriend

Lipstick on your collar
Told a tale on you.
No one wears lipstick any more
Except your mother
And the old woman
At the front desk.
But you stayed
At home all day.
You've been trying on
My makeup again
Haven't you?

mynewplace: (bite me)
Favorite pic of the day






I just love big cats!   Like ya'll didn't know that. 
I LOVE the way the back one is chewing on the pool.
They're obviously juvenile, probably come 
down out of the mountains to find a poodle 
or two to munch on.



 
mynewplace: (Default)
Some of my favorite pictures for the beginning of the week.

I'm going to try and get the first one added to my layout. THAT is what the sun looks like a lot of the time right now. I'm getting headaches from the glare. I have sunglasses, but keep forgetting them, blahblahblah. It feels like my body is failing me. Stupid body.

I watched Brent's mom walk down the stairs yesterday and thought "My god. Look how limber she is! She's gonna outlive me." I hope I'm wrong, only because I think she's pushing 60, and that doesn't give me much time. But if I went to the doctor and told her EVERYthing that was wrong with me, it would cost me hundreds of dollars to get it all checked out. And most of it is weight related - even the arthritis. Stupid body. Stupid inhabitant.









COACH DOG!!   I always think of
[profile] kokopelleigh when I see this picture.
She's all about the matching accessories.




I SO WANT one of these dogs.  I think this one is a silver lab.
Look at its eyes!  I'm a sucker for blue eyes.  Look at the love!










This is Winter.  Isn't she amazing? 
The camera loves her.




And this is Honey.  A blonde Dachsund.
Isn't she sexy? Well you know, dog-sexy.






 
mynewplace: (genius)





I've been wanting a copy of this song with all the fuckin' words for some time now. Enjoy. 



Oh, and I also love THIS one:

 
mynewplace: (I NO DO EET)







Too fucking hilarious. Courtesy of Icanhascheezburger.com

Joined a new community [profile] invisiblyill That's invisibly ill, for people with illnesses that aren't readily obvious. There's a lot of coping required of people who have problems that aren't visible to the general public.  Not to mention the coping required to deal with each of the illnesses.  Strange how many people have multiple problems, sometimes one brought on by another.  You can learn a lot from LJ. 

In other news, there is no news.  Still trying to get the same stack of stuff off my desk that's been here for over a week.  Why, you ask? Because I can't find a shit to give and only do something to one or two pieces of stuff before I go back to spider, or back to LJ, or back to yahoo.  

And no, I have no comment about Heath Ledger, except it's a shame to see another young star gone.  I think enough has been said by others.  

Best Pics

Jan. 7th, 2008 02:30 pm
mynewplace: (Default)
These are the two best pics I've seen on Live Journal today - so far...
funny-pictures-reporting-live-philly.jpg

funny-pictures-pole-dancer-cat.jpg

mynewplace: (piggy)

 

Is it WRONG to invite a man who fears fatherhood more than death itself to tag along during your ultrasound?  

No more wrong than telling a woman that you're passing Chernobyl-ish gas clouds in your office this afternoon. 

Touche'.


mynewplace: (cookie)
No wonder I hated watching Sesame Street with Scarlett.  Elmo always made me wanna puke, but I thought it was just because I was grown up. Now I know the truth - I was jaded and hardened by my years on the Street.  The ORIGINAL Street. 

Caution - this article discusses the original Sesame Street episodes, which are deemed unfit for today's toddlers.  

Pablum, anyone?

Monday

Nov. 19th, 2007 04:07 pm
mynewplace: (HEH)






I laughed SO FREAKIN' HARD when I saw this!!!
I love the way his voice gets higher every time he
says "I KEEEL YOU!"

I have a lot to say, but then I forget it, or just get busy or just don't care.  The phone call from my dad was stressful, and there will continue to be fallout from that conversation for some time to come.  I keep putting off talking to my sister because I know she's busy.  

I WISH I could have just a day or two where absolutely nothing is required of me, I don't need sleep, and nothing is so desperate to be done that it's driving me out of my mind.  And that includes keeping my boyfriend company.  Even pleasantness is pressure sometimes. But I am enjoying our time together these last few days, and also wish there could be more of them this week.  

mynewplace: (wink)
Found amongst the most ridiculous of Britain's laws is this gem:

The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen.







 

The three princes were quoted as saying

"Yeah, we'd like to see that.  A whale's head attached to grandmum's bum.  
Perhaps it would have it's own hat."



High fives all around!

The queen was not amused.




Okay, maybe she was a LITTLE amused.







WHAT?
mynewplace: (genius)
I'm doing this over, because it looks right on the screen, and fucked when I post it. Sorry to those of you who already commented.  Thus:

I appreciate all the LOVELY Happy Birthdays yesterday - thank you all so MUCH!  It's amazing what a little self promotion can garner. 


I saw this on caturday, couldn't resist: 

 


Read this on overheardnyc:

Five-year-old Korean boy with accent:    Mommy, I fart!  [Mom is silent.]  Mommy, I fart!   Did you hear it?
Korean mom, also with accent:    I pretty sure everyone hear it. 

From my brilliant child:

As I'm drying her arm I spot an ink line across her wrist. I rub more vigorously and comment that she didn't wash very well, because there's still pen here.

She looks, and says "No mommy! That's not pen! Those are my... my... testicles
!"

Oh yes she did. 


Not that it makes the story any better, but we did get the vocabulary mix-up straightened out.  It was indeed ink, and not a blood vessel.  And for the record? Testicles are "eww!"

And I am unique and wonderful.. My birthday card from my boyfriend says so. So there.
mynewplace: (daed sexah)

Every time I hear the word belly, I immediately see Fat Bastard telling Mini Me...

C'mere you! Get in mah bellah!!!





And then I can't help saying it out loud.

mynewplace: (genius)

I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy

I see by your outfit that you're a cowboy too

We see by our outfits that we are both cowboys

If you get an outfit you can be a cowboy too!


Can anybody tell me who did that bit? 


*And yes, the icon is a hint. But not an obvious one.

mynewplace: (Default)
Schlotzsky's Deli - Funny Name, Serious Sandwich.  Even more serious Thai Chicken Pizza, with shredded carrots and onions and peanut sauce. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Southern Kitchen.  A staple for those who party at bars into the wee hours, open and serving breakfast all night.  The marquee sign says "Serving o_d food for 47 years"  Old food? Odd food? Yeah, I know, Good food, and it really is. If you like southern cooking. Which I do.

Hooters uses Heiners buns. How quaint. 

There are at least three nice restaurants or fast food joints within walking distance from Brent's new apartment. 

Woman in SUV with clever Mickey Mouse tow ball cover. I pull up next to her at the light, and get out of my car.  I knock on the window, noticing she's a lovely slim brunette with scrubs on.  She buzzes the window down and I say "Scuse me, but you should get your blinkers repaired, as neither the front nor the back lights are working.  I'm certain that you, being a medical professional, are aware of how dangerous it is to drive an illegal vehicle. I'm also assuming that you, as a medical professional, are far too intelligent to turn corners and merge in traffic WITHOUT USING YOUR BLINKERS.  Aren'tchoo?"  *insert smirk here, and subtle finger gesture* "Have a good day."

Okay, no, not really. But dammit one a these days, Alice!!!! BAM! Right in the kisser!

And upon my entering the lane approaching the office, idiot number two decides to pull out from behind stopped car waiting to turn and join me in said lane, pulling out quickly enough that he could have struck me if I hadn't sped up. Sans blinker of course, because he goes to the same driving school as bimbette up there, whose trip to the post office was SO urgent she couldn't be bothered to turn on her blinker while riffling through her purse at the stop light. Thank you.

Monday

May. 14th, 2007 09:30 am
mynewplace: (Default)
I fought some pretty severe back pain every morning this weekend, and this morning was worse.  Once it gets this debilitating, I stay home for a day and try to deal with it in some way other than lying around. 

Today it's a mixture of half an adderall and half a lortab. I did have to lay down again after I took them, but now I'm feeling pretty damned good. Slight headache, but able to move and by god I'm not going to waste it sitting in this fucking chair. This house is a goddamned wreck.

But before I go, a funny:

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month. 

Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.  When it came time for Dick and Jane Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Jane wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over. 

A few days before the big event, Jane got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive"  He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."   She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison."  He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."

After thinking about this, Jane decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some.  She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.  Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Jane watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Jane even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class.  

After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit. About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Jane's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died." 

With this news, Jane went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.  

The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep  them all there and keep them calm." 

It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.  When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. 

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."  

They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!! 

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