Jan. 28th, 2008 10:38 am
mynewplace: (aaiiiii)
I hate having no INTERNETS!!!!!

I have gone through 240 posts this morning, just TRYING to catch up!

This is insane. I wish I had money to get internets. Or at least a wireless thingymabob. 

Weekend, good.  Spent Friday night alone, and most of Saturday.  VERY GOOD. 

Today - nearly cried at idea of getting up and going to work.  Asked out loud while turning off alarm "Why? Why do I hate this so? What am I going to do?"  

I am going to do nothing.  I dreamed last night that my landlord came by and told me to move out by February 1 because he had someone willing to pay the full rent. I reminded him he had to give me 10 days, and he did so. (How generous.)  Didn't really happen of course. I just want to move out so bad I'm looking for any excuse.  I also have an overwhelming dread of EVER asking ANYONE to help me move. NEVER. AGAIN.  

I can't think about that now. I'll think about that some tomorrow.


Oct. 18th, 2007 12:32 am
mynewplace: (boohoo)
It's not cool tonight.   Well, it is outside, but not in here.  I laid in bed with my sliding glass door open until I heard a raccoon outside chirring at my cat.  That was enough.  Can't trust a raccoon not to try and come through the screen. So the door is closed.

My head hurts and it's spinning every time I turn it.  My hair is too hot, and running the fan on the old unit isn't helping any more.  I don't think I'm going to make it to work tomorrow.   

So I came back in here.  Three reasons.  
#1, it will help me get sleepy.  
#2, to tell you this:

When we were at Brent's on Monday we watched Emeril after dinner.  All three of us enjoy cooking shows, and we had a good time.  Scarlett and I were on the sofa, and Brent was in his chair. 
At one point Scarlett took my hand and asked me why I didn't have any of my rings on.  
She said "See? I have MY ring on."
I told her I didn't feel like wearing them all the time.  "All-the-time is saved for a special ring."  
And she said "Oooh..."
Then she said

"Well I hope you get that ring Mommy, for your sake.  And for my sake, too."

I felt a little guilty about letting Brent hear something that he could interpret as a HUGE HINT.  But it wasn't that, so I let it be what it was.  

The next night at dinner, Scarlett asked me if Brent liked Brussels Sprouts. 

I said "No.  And why are you doing that little victory dance in your chair?"

"Because that means we have another thing in common."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because you might marry him some day."

I told her that Brent said that probably wouldn't happen.  So it probably wouldn't. 

And she said "Mom, people change their minds all the time.  It might only take one little thing...."

And #3 - to offer this to anyone who made it to the end of this post. 

I will send handmade gifts to the first three people who ask for them in a comment here.   You have to give me 365 days to get it to you, though I don't think it will take that long.  And you have to be willing to post this same offer on your own LJ once you receive your gift. 

I got my gift in the mail today from another LJer.  It's a wonderful homemade body scrub, with olive oil which I love, and rosemary and rue.  NUMnumnum!!!

Now I'm yawning. So good nite.
mynewplace: (oh canada)

Ummm, do you know where I can get some Lycra spandex leopard-print leggings?

Happy birthday [profile] beldar I don't know you very well, but you're certainly welcome to come along for the roller coaster ride that is [personal profile] sapphirescarlet  Feel free to touch the monkeys, and please don't keep your hands inside the car.

Not much to say yet today.  Scarlett is doing quite well at getting off to school, although she drags her feet if I don't walk through the steps with her every day.  That's okay, though.   I don't have to get ready until after she leaves.  In fact, her departure at 6:45 gives me time to get on the computer, check my email and Live Journal, and kinda wake up more.  For some reason that builds my energy level.  Every morning when the alarm goes off I start thinking of ways I can miss work or go in late. By the time I have finished my computer play, I'm ready to face the day. 

Got a new icon, courtesy of [profile] gymorama.  He's my primary "maker" of animated icons nowadays.  I have been hearing new lyrics to songs in my head for several days now.  Just a creative spurt, I guess.  

I've only been taking three pills for the last several days.  For some reason I thought I'd put my blood pressure pills in my bottle where I keep everything.  But I hadn't, and I kept thinking that they weren't supposed to be blue, they were supposed to be white.  I was right, so I found them and took one today.  Hope it helps these nagging headaches when I wake up.

Brent is VERY MUCH looking forward to the weekend.  He's horny and lonely.  I miss him, too.  He's not ready to talk about anything more than what we have now.  I have been bringing it up once in a while, but I can't help it.  I drive by a 3 bedroom house for lease on my street EVERY DAY.  It's $800 a month, and has a basement where he could set up his drum kit.  We could save SO MUCH damned money. And I could leave the roaches behind.  siiiiiiiiiiiiigh

Yes, I'm still having trouble with the damned things.  I've been MUCH more conscientious regarding my kitchen, rinsing dishes before loading them in the dishwasher,  keeping the sink, stove and counters clean with bleach, and spraying roach spray into all the cracks every few days.  The spray is supposed to last six weeks, but after just a few days I start seeing roach poopie on the places where I spray.  I made myself a little sick with it yesterday, and didn't get it off my hands when I washed - so it got on my contacts and I couldn't wear them.  The bitch of it all is I actually saw the first one in the living room this morning.  Of course I sprayed it, made myself a little sick with the spray again, but that's proof to me that the spray isn't doing the job.  Which fucking pisses me off because it takes an act of God to get my landlord to do anything.  Goddammit.  I guess I'll have to move the cats to Brent's one weekend and DEMAND that he hire an exterminator. I don't know what else to do.  I'm sick of things going wrong and him not taking care of them.  I have a list of several things now: the mildew on the laundry room ceiling has been there over a year.  I suspect the carpet in the hall is ruined because it got wet when the ceiling leaked from the washing machine upstairs.  Now the light fixture in the hallway has a short and won't work.  And the fucking roaches, which originally moved in when the girls upstairs moved out.  I did NOT have them before that, dammit.

Okay. I'm going to try to work now.  Everybody in my section is gone for two days, so I'm the ONLY person answering phones.  My boss is sick, too.   It's nice for things to be quiet, but I have a harder time working when he's not here.  All I want to do is play.  I don't have SHIT for games on this damned computer. 

Well, I guess I had more to say than I thought.
mynewplace: (bring it yoda)
See squee-worthy bebehs here:

I am 98% certain that I am not going to find an apartment that will hold me and my kid without bankrupting me. Thus I did today what might have been a crazy thing.  I went to a mobile home dealer and completed a credit application.  After I have or have not been approved, we will discuss purchasing a singlewide mobile home.  They've found a piece of property for me, but after looking up its location in my city street guide, I'm fairly certain a mobile home will not be tolerated on that property.  Thus, we'll have to find a park. 

Long range plan is to pay on this a few years, then trade up after credit rating is inexplicably improved. Inexplicably, you say? Yes, for despite my tendency to make payments when they are due on large purchases, I have difficulty maintaining the "little things".  I just am not to do da money so good.

I will require assistance from my mother & stepfather to make the downpayment. This assistance may not be available, it's highly possible that they simply won't have it. They may be able to borrow it, but I am not sure how that will go over.  Also, they will not want me to buy a mobile home without first talking with my sister, who purchases repo'ed trailers. Thing is, I have to have bank pre-approval before I can purchase anything, and that's not easy to get. My credit union won't even talk about mobile homes, OR pre-fabs. I must go with the bank that the mfr uses or recommends. 

This is hugely scary for me. Even having my name out there on an application is more than my credit report can withstand right now.  But this rent is also more than my paychecks can withstand. What do I do? 

If all things are denied, and I must resume the apartment search - it's VERY likely I will have to find homes for my cats.  It's that bad, and I don't have much hope that finding homes for them will be possible. 


Apr. 30th, 2007 04:39 pm
mynewplace: (buddychrist)
It feels as if I haven't posted, but I think that's just because everyone has been rather quiet lately. A comment here and there, but not many. 

The retirement luncheon went off without a hitch, easy thing to do when you schedule it at Shoneys.  

Will go grocery shopping this evening, after Scarlett's extra dance lesson.  Don't have much cash for groceries right now, but don't know when I'm going to get more, and we're out of almost everything.  I'm pretty sure I can make it stretch. 

Scarlett's letting her room slip again, and I've got to get off my ass and get in there, force her to do some maintenance.  I might look again next week for an apartment, I just don't know.  I'm not sure I'm going to find one in the area I want.  I know when the time is right it will probably "appear" but I'm afraid to trust that intuition since that's what got me in the mess of an apartment  I'm in now.  

Must be getting close to PMS time, because everything seems to be building to a crescendo. 

I wish apartments didn't cost so damned much.  
I wish I had better credit and could afford a house like I want.  

I wish I was a fairy princess. 

Hell, might as well dream big.
mynewplace: (Default)
I'm good. And I'm not so good. I try not to think about the "not so good" part because that's what aggravates my depression and we are trying to avoid depression, are we not? Yes, yes we are. Thus:

I'll cover the "not so good" first.  This is the second time I've seen one of these advertised here at the office. This is a newer model, and I want it SOO SOO SOO bad:  2006 14 X 76 Clayton Mobile Home; 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, master bathroom with a large garden tub, standup shower with double seats, and double vanity sinks; Hidden walk in laundry room from kitchen (hidden behind cabinets like doors); Walk in master bedroom closet located in master bathroom; Has all major kitchen appliances including dishwasher; Central Air unit; Vinyl Siding (clay color); Shingle roof; This home is currently located off (Not-my-area). Can stay on rental lot or be moved. Lot rent is $110.00 month; No utilities are furnished with lot rent. Asking 36,000. *sob*

I WANT THIS TRAILER!  As a child I had pretty high aspirations, but as I grew older, they declined. I always swore I wouldn't have a trailer but their manufacturing process on doublewide-extra longs has dramatically improved in the last ten years. I have always wanted a single story home, 3 bedrooms, two full baths, kitchen, dining, with MEGA-tub and mega-shower in the master bedroom bath. There are numerous Oakwood or other manufactured housing type hopes that fit this description and make me drool, or grow slightly sexually squirmy. YES. A brand new side by side refrigerator and hardwood cabinetry make me horny. Sunken living rooms with built in bookshelf-entertainment centers make my Kegels clench. And garden tub bathrooms with double vanities make me quiver - two person shower? That's it. Silent Shuddering Orgasm.

I AM a woman, after all.

I have no credit. I mean, it's lower than 600, I think. NO. CREDIT.  No property, and I REFUSE to live in the neighborhood where this trailer is currently located. I WILL NOT SEND MY CHILD TO A REDNECK SCHOOL!!! Anyway. I think my parents would help me if the trailer were still available in June and I could find a place in my school district where I could put it. Home ownership overwhelms me a bit, but by god I'd give it a shot for something like this near John Adams Middle School. There. It's out in the universe (not like God doesn't already know I want this) So mote it be. 

So how am I good? I'm at work, whoo hoo! Never thot I'd say that but my day sucked yesterday - and then I burnt dinner and we had to go out to eat. I was GLAD to get out of that hole today and in among people.  Brent emailed me first, he's feeling his oats and I love it when he's horny, so yeah, I'll be headed over there this weekend. And I'll likely clean. I gave him very explicit instructions about the abuse of my body this weekend, and he'd damned well better follow them.  

"The guy" is supposed to come and replace my ceiling tomorrow sometime, don't know when. But he'd better do it quick, I'm sick of this shit. He said he'd bring calcium with him to put down on the ice. 

Scarlett will be at mom's this weekend, and I might keep her home next weekend, to attend a wedding with me. (Hi Steph!) Or I might not, depends on what her dad's doing. Cause I'm NOT driving to Huntington. 

Oh by the way Stephanie Lambchop - are you registered anywhere?


mynewplace: (Default)

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