May. 7th, 2013

mynewplace: (Bitch!)
Online life is a tricky thing. You make new friends, some for a while, some for a lifetime; some were friends already and you simply add an additional layer of connection.  Maybe you start out as curious about someone, or romantically attracted, or you have interests in common or friends in common or maybe you're just "OMG TARDIS!" together.

That's okay.  Maybe that's all it ever is, and it's fine and no one wants anything more.  Maybe the other party wanted something more and you tried that on for size and found it didn't fit. Maybe YOU wanted more, and were either silently or politely or not-so-kindly rebuked, but you stayed, and you thought it was okay still.  You might linger as friends or "wanna-bes" for ever.

But what if you don't?  When you go from being interested in what they have to say to being uninterested, you can leave the connections online thinking no one's the wiser if you simply say nothing. Often you're right, no one IS the wiser, that's how journals get abandoned and left on your friends list despite having had no new content since 2005.

But what if it goes further? What if you go from being interested in the writer to no longer willing to tolerate their personal brand of journaling?  What if you don't want to read any more? Sure you can drop them, and say so if they ask.  It's not your responsibility if they have a less than positive emotional response to your decision. You can't control their reaction.  In fact, if you COULD control them, then maybe they wouldn't write things that you no longer find amusing, or no longer find yourself willing to read.

You can take them off your friends list so you don't see their entries without them knowing.  You can ignore their comments in your own journal.  You can even delete the comments if you want to open THAT can of worms.  Or you can just delete them altogether so they can no longer see your entries either, and no longer comment on same.  There's often fallout to that choice.  You've probably experienced it, if you've been on LJ for any length of time.  In fact I would bet that you have experienced both.  You have left and been questioned about it AND someone has left YOU and you've questioned them about it.  Haven't you?  Yes, I know you have. Hopefully you've grown wiser as a result, perhaps grown more kind or empathic or considerate as well.  (Pardon me, have you seen my pity? It was here just moments ago, truly.  I cannot seem to find it - small, fluffy, pink thing, quite warm, gives good hugs? Have you seen it?  Have you seen my pity?  Heeerreee pitypitypity!!)

And it's all just random hypothetical bullshit until someone loses an eye.  Every single person who reads this will have some form of this thought cross their mind while reading "Is she dropping me?"

I love the way Dr. Phil says it - It ain't abooout youuuuuu!!!!!

Cause it ain't.  No. It ain't!  I know you're saying "Yes it is!" But It Ain't. 

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